


Gone Too Soon

by tearsandholdme



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Baby Fic, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mpreg, Past Miscarriage, Protectiveness, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-01-15
Packaged: 2018-01-07 05:43:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 35,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1116204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tearsandholdme/pseuds/tearsandholdme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It's impossible.”</p><p>“Nothing is impossible.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Daughtry's song - "Gone Too Soon" and I would advise to listen to it because it's so beautiful and writing this whilst listening to it made me cry. 
> 
> WARNING: Mentions of - miscarriage. It is quite heavy so if it upsets you then this is not for you.
> 
> I apologise for any mistakes at all. If you like then of course, if you want to, leave a quick comment. It's very helpful! 
> 
> Enjoy.

The bed was warm and far too comfortable when Stiles opened his eyes slowly sensing the morning light, if he inhaled deeply he could smell the lingering scent of egg and bacon downstairs, and knew it was one of the pack. He prayed it was Boyd who could actually cook and hid that secret talent of his well. Stiles turned his head looking to the left side of the large king bed seeing the empty space that woke him up and sighing softly. He was used to Derek getting up early, he never slept in, and when he did it was from exhaustion. The floorboards were cold under his feet when he pushed the cover off his body to pull on one of his long-sleeved tops to head to the window. The sun was warm when it shone through it, his skin prickling with goosebumps when he wrapped his arms around his chest staring out at the woods. It was the beginning of summer and already the leaves were blooming on the trees bringing in new life. 

Two years ago, the house had been a burnt out wreck. It was heartbreaking and a little bit terrifying back then but it took persuasion and a lot of shouting and anger for him to turn it into a home. Derek tore it down with his own two hands throwing away the burnt plaster and wood to turn it into a house that he could now love and want to live in. There was always that fear of course, the fear that would always linger when a horrific tragedy scarred your life. 

Stiles trailed his finger down the pane of glass slowly knowing he was out there right now. He'd be running, using a steady branch to train and push himself, and he'd train till he was sweating and done for the day. It was more like routine now. The knock on the bedroom door startled him when he turned to see Erica wearing blue and pink pajamas and holding a white mug of coffee.

“Hey, I came to see if you were awake,” she said holding out the mug for him when he walked over smiling faintly taking a sip. “Derek left half an hour ago.”

“I know,” he murmured resting his lips against the cool ceramic. “It's what woke me up.”

“Isaac's cooking,” she whispered so he groaned throwing back his head. “It's going well so far...”

“He nearly burnt the kitchen down last time!” he hissed hurrying down the hall when he hurried down the stairs ignoring the chill on his legs.

“I resent that,” Isaac argued pointing the fork he was using when they walked in together. “It caught fire.”

He rolled his eyes but let him have it when he sat down at the table keeping a close eye on him. The kitchen was one of the best places in the house and he would not have it catch fire because of reckless cooking. His coffee was warm between his hands when he looked down at it attempting to ignore that tickle in the back of his mind. The house was constantly alive with people since Erica, Boyd, and Isaac moved in with them with nowhere else to go. It didn't stop Scott or Lydia or Jackson or even Allison sometimes from stopping by for hours on end and even staying over. They were a pack, a messed up, slightly crazy, and somewhat sad attempt of a family for them all. 

It did more for Derek then it did for Stiles, a space in his heart filled with people he didn't know he truly needed. It all began with them though over two years ago. Harsh words spat at each other resulting in a desperate kiss, finally acting upon years of untold words. The words 'mate' and 'forever' crept into further conversations and he soon realized what he had been missing out on. Falling in love with Derek Hale had been both exhilarating and terrifying, a tumble of emotions he wasn't sure he could handle by himself. He thought he had known love but love was mistaken for infatuation and desperation that could never be reciprocated from Lydia herself. 

Stiles had never seen it coming and neither did the pack but their acceptance was one he never thought they would get. 

“You balance each other out, it...works, and I don't know why but it does. Maybe that's what we all needed in the end...unity,” Erica said to them both, her mouth twitching into a smile. 

That was all he needed to hear and back then he had no idea what he was letting himself into. His eyes closed feeling that ice cold ache in his chest when he remembered. It was a pain he never thought he could feel and even now it still hurt when he remembered the loss, the guilt, and it something he could feel very well. 

Isaac coughed gently distracting him when he opened his eyes to see Isaac's eyes clouded with worry. He handed the plate filled with egg, bacon, sausage and toast over and Stiles took it gratefully tucking in. In the end he could only eat half and chewed on the toast sitting back.

“Are you okay?” Isaac questioned folding his hands on the table when he looked him.

“What do you mean?” Stiles said holding the toast halfway to his mouth before taking a big bite.

“No, you just – you smell sour like...you're angry or upset. Is it Derek?”

“What? No, no, no, I'm fine, I'm just...tired,” he said telling half the truth and prayed Isaac didn't notice the lie riddled into it. Isaac's brow puckered in concern but he let it go when he stared down at the table and away. Stiles licked his lips from the stray crumbs and butter before feeling fed up and leaving his crusts on the plate. 

He could hear the dim bickering of Boyd and Erica getting ready for work. They were very lucky in managing to snag two jobs at the local store. It was long hours for crap money but it helped towards rent and bills all the same. Stiles stood pressing a hand to the coffee pot before pouring a cup and adding two sugars. The porch was warm when he stepped outside feeling the morning sun warm his feet and legs already. The air was crisp and his lips formed into a smile when he shut his eyes drinking it in. 

“Later, Stilinski!” Erica called over her shoulder when they walked out and he watched them get into Boyd's small white Toyota. 

It didn't take long for Derek to appear from his own personal workout covered in sweat and eying the coffee in his hands when he walked over.

“How many sugars?”

“Two,” he answered letting him take it out of his hands and take a sip wrinkling his nose. “It has to be sweet and you know that. So...I woke up to an empty space beside me.”

“I needed to run.”

“I can tell,” he said trailing his eyes over his sweaty brow and arms with a soft sigh. “Doesn't mean I like waking up alone.”

“Sorry,” he murmured leaning in to press a soft kiss against his lips. Stiles lingered cupping the side of his neck needing more but found themselves interrupted by the door opening and Isaac leaving for college. He waved a hand to them in goodbye before heading away and not looking back.

“Boyd and Erica have gone to work, Isaac is obviously off to college for the day, and I don't have work either so...we have an empty house,” he said suggestively raising an eyebrow in his direction. Stiles smirked when he caught on fast. “I could do with a shower and I think you could too.”

“Get upstairs,” he ordered pushing him back into the house locking the front door behind them. Stiles was ahead of them when he walked into their bedroom heading into their bathroom. The shower was already warm when he stripped dumping his clothes on the floor and stepping under the warm spray. His eyes squeezed shut when he let his mind wander waiting for him to join him. 

There was no needs for words when he turned under the spray of the water once Derek stepped inside and kissed him. His lips tingled along with his cheeks when he parted them tasting the coffee on his tongue. His back hit the tiles when he was pushed up against them and he shivered at the cold seeping into his skin. Stiles reached for the secret stash of lube pushing it into his hands and shaking his head when he opened his mouth.

“No, just fuck me,” he whispered into his mouth biting his bottom lip gently. Stiles couldn't stop the shiver running up his spine when he growled and he was turned against the tiles. They were cool underneath his cheek when he turned his head biting his lip hard, his fingers slick with lube rubbed against the puckered hole. Pleasure pulsed through him when he groaned pushing back encouraging his fingers to slide into him. 

“So tight,” Derek whispered into his ear so he moaned in encouragement when two fingers pushed up scissoring him open till he was ready and desperate. He was finger fucked, his fingers crooking when they touched the sweet spot inside of him, so he cried out slamming a hand against the wall. 

“Derek, please!” he pleaded falling back against his chest when Derek gripped his hips with tight hands. His fingers digging into the delicate areas of his skin when he lined up pressing the head of his cock against the rim and sliding in. Stiles swore squeezing his eyes shut breathing through the pain rolling his hips backwards.

His fingers worked into his hair when they pulled his head back and Derek thrust into him almost lazily. Stiles knew he was being loud when he moaned and swore his encouragements for Derek to fuck him harder. He wrapped a hand around his cock stroking himself to completion when he climaxed feeling hie toes curl and cramp with it. 

“Let go, come on,” he whispered pressing his hot forehead to the wall, his body pliant and his mind well-rested when he caught Derek's weight when he panted through his orgasm. His hand splayed across his stomach catching his attention when he looked down at it swallowing hard. Derek pulled back out of him so he clenched feeling the loss of him when he looked over his shoulder. It was like he realized what he had done when he removed his hand slowly looking down to avoid his eyes.

“I better get dressed,” he murmured stepping out of the shower leaving him when he pressed his lips together tight fighting the urge to cry. Stiles grabbed the soap scrubbing it over him sniffing deeply and staying there till his skin ached from the heat and his fingers were pruned. 

He could feel the come in his ass dripping out when he washed it away and switched the water off to wrap a towel around his waist. His complexion was pale and his eyes tired when he wiped the condensation away. Derek was dressed and already gone when he chucked the towel in a heap on the floor pulling out a navy blue top and his jeans. The house was too quiet when he eventually walked downstairs to find Derek gone and the front door unlocked.

“Great,” he muttered with a sigh standing in the hall feeling a sense of dread prickle in the back of his mind. Stiles grabbed his shoes stuffing his feet into them before grabbing his favorite hoodie, cell, and keys to head out as well. His trusty jeep took him to a place he didn't even think of when he arrived parking to stare at the old church. His eyes trailed over the interior when he stepped out of the car shutting it behind with a quick snap. 

Stiles took a quick glance around before pulling out his cell and sending Scott a quick message. The smell of the church hit him the moment he walked inside. There was no other way to describe it but the smell of church. Polish, old bibles, the subtle scent of flowers, and something else, something hidden, like a secret. It was open to the public and there was no inside when he walked down the aisle. Stiles sat staring up at the altar when he waited and tried his best not to think. 

Scott took his time but he soon arrived walking up to him and standing at his side silently. 

“I don't even believe in God you know, not really, I lost my faith a long time ago,” he said casually looking up at him. Scott stared back with eyes fiery in their worry for him. 

“I don't even know why I come here, maybe it's for the candles,” he muttered glancing over to them and away. “I light one every year for my mom, every anniversary, and now...now I light two. Two candles. No one should light two candles.”

“Stiles, what are you doing here?” Scott said quietly sitting behind him and leaning his arms against the back. 

“I don't know,” he admitted with a hard swallow looking down at his hands. “Pray? Maybe someone is listening. I...I would have been nine months you know, I did a bit of research, found out the week I...well you know and Google did the rest. I would have been due this week. I think Derek knows that...he can barely look at me.”

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Scott's head bow and he snorted shaking his head feeling his heart clench. 

“He doesn't blame you.”

“Yeah, yeah he does, he denies it, god he'd deny it to the end of time but...I see it, you know?” he muttered with a harsh laugh. “It's in his eyes, eyes are the mirrors to our souls. Mom used to say that to me, she said it was how she knew I was lying to her.”

“It's not your fault, it's no ones fault, it's just...life. Derek doesn't blame you, I don't blame you, no one blames you. The only person blaming you is yourself and you – you need to forgive yourself, Stiles, it just...”

“What?”

“Wasn't meant to be.”

Stiles swallowed hard staring into his bottomless eyes and turned away unable to continue looking into them. “Yeah, me as a father? I shouldn't have even be able to get...pregnant.”

He whispered the last word conscious of where they were and despite the fact no one was there it meant nothing. Stiles closed his eyes meaning every word though. It had been a shock to them all even worse for him when all the vomiting, dizziness, bad mood swings, turned into an explanation that rocked him to his core. It'd been Deaton of all people to diagnose him. Pleads for the doctor were ignored when Derek insisted that he wasn't sick and it had to be something else. To learn he was five weeks pregnant shattered him and at the time the disbelief clouded over everything. 

“It's impossible.”

“Nothing is impossible.”

“Bullshit!”

“You have a spark, Stiles, you know what that means,” Deaton explained to him calm and rationally whilst he paced the room shaking his head vehemently. “To create, you remember what you did with the mountain ash all those years ago. When you created the flame for my candle out of nothing but the power of your own mind. You create around you that shouldn't be possible and now you have created life...”

“It's impossible!” he cried slamming his hands on the table. “I'm a man, I don't have a womb, I don't have breasts, and the last time I checked I didn't have a vagina! This – this is impossible! I can't be pregnant!”

“Well you are, Stiles, and you had better get used to it fast. These things don't just happen for nothing and your body will accommodate this...change...you'll both be a miracle.”

Stiles opened his eyes back to the present and swallowed again feeling that urge to cry and hating it. 

“I would have been a terrible father...” he murmured with a wet snort when he stood up moving to the candles.

“Stiles, no...”

Scott was ignored when he stood by the candles grabbing a splint of wood before lighting it on a lit candle and moving to one that was unlit. His eyes wavered when he stared at the candle for a long moment before he moved heading away and back down to his seat. 

“It wasn't a miracle, it was a fucking disaster. I lost the baby, I miscarried, and everything changed. Derek changed, a small part of him died with it, and he doesn't love me like he did. I know he doesn't,” he muttered hearing his voice crack before he stood up walking away and leaving Scott in the church. 

Stiles drove away hearing the wheels squeal a little when he did and he had no destination in mind. He couldn't go home and wallow, he had no one to go to, and he couldn't face being around the people he loved. It was aimless driving when the radio was turned on and he listened to the singing and the chatter of the radio presenters. In the end he ended up parking in a space in the middle of nowhere and stared out of the window feeling stupid. He had months to grieve, move on, and he had done it. They all had done it. But now it was nine months later and it was his own fault for finding out when the baby would have been born. 

“Fuck,” he cried slamming his hands on the steering wheel hard before falling back shutting his eyes. The traitor of a tear slid out when he felt it's descent down his cheek when he brushed it away cursing at himself. 

“It wasn't meant to be,” he whispered feeling his heart break at the words before starting the car up again when he drove away and headed home. It was heading towards evening by the time he got back tired and starving. The front door opened the moment he got out and he eyed Lydia standing there waiting for him.

“You hungry?” she said the moment he got to the front door. Stiles gave her a half smile in response before nodding and kicking off his shoes. 

It looked like the whole pack was there bar from Derek when he scanned around the people in the kitchen and the living room. 

“Where is he?” he whispered to Lydia.

“I don't know,” she admitted staring back at him with apologetic eyes. 

“You know disappearing on me is one way to give me a heart attack,” Scott said slapping his hands against his back so he jumped shoving him back gently.

“I needed time alone, to think,” he explained with a shrug walking to the fridge. “I'm fine now.” 

The silence behind him told him they didn't believe him but he paid it no mind. In the end they all ended up eating sandwiches in front of the television. The pack chatting around them about their day, Erica and Boyd bickering over the remote control, Scott with his arm wrapped around Allison reading a book in the corner of the sofa, Jackson and Lydia curled together whispering on the other sofa, and Isaac laid out on the floor watching the television contently. It was too much and too little at the same time when he felt an ache in his chest and he had to get out when he stood silently leaving the room. 

Stiles could feel eyes on him when he walked upstairs heading to the bedroom. It was dark when he fell on the bed closing his eyes and inhaling the smell of their bedroom. It was a subtle mix of their deodorants and it was comforting when he rolled onto his side shutting his eyes. He drifted in and out of a doze jumping out of his skin when a hand brushed against his hip and he turned to see Derek watching him.

“Watching someone sleep is creepy you know.”

“You looked peaceful.”

“It wasn't,” he admitted stretching out his aching arms before he settled resting his hands over his stomach. “I'm sorry.”

“For what? You have nothing to be sorry for, Stiles.”

“Yes, I do, and it has to be said. I know I've been acting weird...but so have you. I think I know why though and I think you do to.” 

Stiles watched him turn his head away when he swallowed and he sighed turning his own towards the window. “You can barely look at me these days.”

“What?”

“You heard, you can barely look at me.” 

“That's not true, I look at you normally,” Derek protested shaking his head and reaching out to him to turn his cheek towards him. “Scott told me where you were today. I thought we agreed that you wouldn't go there any more.” 

“We did, I went anyway, it's a good place to think. Who knew?” he muttered pushing to sit up and exhaled heavily. “We both know the baby would have been born this week. It's why you can't look at me...”

“Don't start this again, Stiles, I can't argue about this again. When are you going to understand that I don't blame you?” Derek snapped so he flinched feeling and sensing the anger underneath the calm. “It's been months, months of being able to move on past this, and I'm not going through it again. Yes, I know what week it is, but I'm not blaming you!”

“Oh really? So what was that in the shower before?” he demanded walking to the door and slamming it shut when he faced him. “I saw your face, Derek, I saw the way you couldn't meet my eyes because you touched my stomach! You got out, got dressed, and did what you do best. You fucked off.” 

“I needed space, I needed to breathe...think! It was nothing to do with you!”

“From what? Fucking me? We do that on a daily basis! It was nothing new.” 

Derek's jaw clenched when he shook his head once before standing up. “I'm not doing this. You're angry and you're upset so you want to argue and I'm not doing it, not again.” 

“Yeah, there it is, the Derek Hale way out of an argument!” he hissed watching him brush past him heading to the door. “Cut and run hoping it'll be better when he returns but I'll let you know something...it's not been the same in a long, long time and you fucking know that. It's why...”

Stiles trailed off clenching his teeth together until they hurt and he exhaled feeling his heart thump and ache in his chest. Derek paused on his way out to turn and look at him. 

“Why, what?”

“Why don't you ask Scott? As you were,” he nodded watching his eyes narrow on him angrily before he walked out. Stiles couldn't resist slamming the door hard seeing the wall shudder a little when he exhaled harshly. His eyes burnt when he sat on the end of the bed and his hands gripped the covers and mattress hard. Arguing was the worst, it always left a bitter feeling lodged in his chest, tears left lingering in the corner of his eyes, and no way to get past it. Stiles refused to cry though and breathed through his teeth staring up at the ceiling. He made a decision to get a shower before climbing into the bed warm apart from the anger and pain still lingering when he desperately closed his eyes. His early night was ruined though when the door opened, the handle hitting the wall when he looked over his shoulder seeing his shadowed form in the lit hallway. 

“You think I don't love you any more?”

“I never said that.”

“You're a horrible liar,” he muttered stepping inside trailing his tongue across his bottom lip shutting the bedroom door tight. “You're also wrong, you have never been more wrong in your entire life and most of the time...you're irritatingly right about everything.”

“You can't blame me for thinking like that.”

“No, I can blame myself.”

“Now I didn't mean that,” he argued rolling his eyes.

Derek pressed one knee to the bed when he reached over gripping his wrist tight when he tugged him towards him with one hard yank. Stiles jerked very nearly falling into him so he stared into his eyes seeing sorrow there, a guilt so twisted it soured in his gut, and a pain that mirrored his own. 

“You honestly think I could stop loving you?” he whispered, his voice cracking, and the knife that was guilt twisted hard under his ribs. 

“Because I'm me, an annoying little fuck-up, it was – it was the change in you, subtle but there, the way you touched me, the way your eyes strayed away, your kiss, your hug, every caress...different. Like you blamed me but didn't know how to tell me,” he explained closing his eyes at the hurt sound Derek made. 

“Grief, Stiles, not you – it was never you. You know this, you're,” he said cutting off with a shake off his head. “Everything, you're everything to me. I have never stopped loving you and I never will. How could you even...?”

“I'm sorry,” he whispered hating the words when he cupped his cheek to press their foreheads together. “I'm sorry for doubting you, I'm sorry for lashing out, I'm sorry for causing arguments...”

“Stop saying sorry,” Derek pleaded softly cupping the back of his neck, his body pushing into his when he pushed him down into the bed. Stiles broke feeling the tear slide down his cheek when he shook his head. 

“I'm so sorry for everything. I think of who they would be every day, would they have your eyes, your smile, what he or she could have been, and I hate it. I'm sorry,” he whispered in a rush hearing his voice break when he squeezed his eyes shut feeling the wet coat under his lashes. Derek swore both angry and pained when he kissed him desperately, their teeth and tongues clashing in an almost furious passion. 

Stiles should have saw it coming really but he was so grateful for it when he trailed his hands down his bare chest, his body crying out in his need for him yet again. The soft groan of pleasure escaped his lips when he pushed inside of him and Derek began the slow thrust into him. The same air was exchanged between their lips when he stared into the dark light of his eyes and he prayed they could finally, once and for all, just move on. His hands found his when he gripped them intertwining them together so they rested above his head and he let his mind escape from him. 

His body was wrung out along with his heart and mind when Derek groaned his completion into his neck, his teeth worrying the pale arch of it before he settled resting his weight. Stiles was grateful for it when he slid a hand into his hair holding him when he breathed in the smell of them, the smell of sex penetrating the air. 

“I love you,” he whispered feeling Derek tense a little before he pulled up tracing a knuckle across his cheek bone in silence. 

“I love you,” he repeated back to him so in that moment he truly believed him. Stiles kissed him once more, lingering before he fell back, and they found their positions for sleep. His cheek pressed against his chest when he listened to his heartbeat and Derek's fingers trailed up his back slowly. 

Their was a shift in the air that night when he glanced out of the window seeing the moon not yet full outside shining in her silvery beauty. It was almost like she was watching them and he closed his eyes praying she heard his prayer. 

~*~

Stiles sat at the kitchen table when he watched the pack bustle and argue around the kitchen. It was morning time on a weekend meaning most of them had stayed the side and the place was busy with life. Isaac and Scott stood by the stove when they bickered making pancakes. Jackson glared at everyone from his seat on the counter eating an apple. Lydia and Allison watched the others from their seats at the table almost amused and Erica and Boyd were missing and still in bed. 

“Stiles, you want some?!” Scott shouted over to him waving his spatula.

“No,” he muttered feeling sick when he stared down at the table. 

“No? You feeling okay?” Lydia questioned raising a perfect eyebrow over to him.

“Fine, just not hungry. I'm in work today, I better get ready,” he murmured ignoring their worried glances before he headed upstairs. Derek was awake and pulling on socks when he walked in heading for his drawers to get out his work clothes. 

“I vote for sending them all away to camp,” he joked yanking open his drawer and pausing with a small smile when Derek's arms wound around his waist. His lips were soft when they kissed his neck gently and he pushed back leaning into him. 

“You'd miss them after a few hours.”

“Give me a few days,” he muttered twisting his neck around to kiss him sweetly before pulling out of his arms to dress. “Dad's going to kill me if I'm late.”

“For looking out for the phones?”

“Plus paperwork! Don't give me that look, I get to spend time with my dad whilst being paid to work at the station and – and I get the gossip!” he protested waving a hand at him. “You're just judgemental.”

“I'm getting a shower.”

“Whatever,” he mumbled kissing him when he leaned in. “I'll see you later.”

Stiles headed out looking at the kitchen to see them eating breakfast and talking amongst themselves when he walked out. It was a beautiful morning when he flicked his eyes up towards the sun shielding his eyes and kind of hated how he was in work. He would have liked a few hours in the rays. 

“Music,” he muttered blaring it and swallowed ignoring that kick of queasiness and blamed it on hunger when he drove away heading to the station. 

“Hey, kiddo,” his dad greeted the moment he walked in desperate for coffee. 

“Hey dad, how's things?”

“That's my question, you look kind of pale,” he commented eying him.

“Thanks, I think,” Stiles muttered with a sigh walking into the kitchen when he switched on the kettle for another morning coffee. It was going to be long day in front of him when he sat down taking a sip and winced at the taste when he dropped it down. His stomach was in knots when he sat back breathing out his mouth slowly. The nausea from earlier had not faded when he shifted trying to get comfortable and finding it nowhere soon. 

“Stiles?”

He met his dad's eyes when he leaned over the counter. “What?”

“You really are awfully pale, kid, you feeling okay?”

“I don't know,” he muttered waving a hand at him when he pushed back breathing harshly now almost running to the toilet when he slammed into the door. 

Stiles hit the toilet just in time when he vomited feeling it burn the back of his throat, his hands shaking when he gripped the lid and the smell of bleach and sick invaded his senses. He trembled spitting the remains in his mouth before hitting the floor ass first. His forehead was damp with sweat when he pressed his fingertips to his temples and let his head fall back against the cubicle wall.

“Son?” his dad questioned knocking on the door.

“I'm fine,” he called back flushing when he stood on shaky legs and he fell against the sink. Stiles stared at his reflection stunned at how pale he was when he poked his cheek and looked down before scrubbing his hands clean.

“Guess I'm sick,” he muttered opening the door. “You're right, I did feel weird when I woke up this morning.”

“Go home,” he said handing him a bottle of water which he took gratefully drinking it down. 

“Dad...”

“I mean it, we're quiet anyway, I can sense it. It's the weekend, so go,” his dad said with a small smile clapping his shoulder gently. “Get some bed rest.”

Stiles glanced at him and away trying to feel grateful but not feeling it when he left the station earlier than he anticipated. The journey home was one he didn't particularly want to remember when he had to pull over halfway there to vomit against a tree. It was enough to convince him he was sick when he arrived back to see Lydia and Allison stood on the porch wearing sunglasses. 

“What are you doing here?” Lydia called when he walked up kicking a stone out of his way.

“Dad, he let me go early, it was quiet,” he lied not wanting them to worry and fuss over him when he walked up. “Where is everyone?”

“Burning their breakfasts off,” she said nodding into the woods. “They're not happy.”

“With Derek's training? I'm prepared for tears from them all,” he mumbled with a snort walking inside. Telling them would be the worst option and he was in no mood for fussing and concern over something so small as a bug. Stiles returned to bed making sure the door was tight when he stripped off till he was in his underwear. The window was pushed opened when he dropped down on the bed with a long hard sigh. 

“God,” he muttered pressing a hand to his temple to massage the headache away. “This better not be a virus.” 

He breathed in and out praying he wasn't sick again. Stiles heard when the others returned and he looked towards the door when it opened revealing a sweaty Derek. He could feel his eyebrows creep up when he looked at him over.

“What are you doing here?” Derek questioned looking over him in concern.

“Dad sent me home.”

It was half of the truth and that was the way he wanted it when Derek narrowed his eyes at him but seemed to let him have it. He swallowed watching him strip when he walked and headed into the bathroom to get a shower. Stiles was determined to forget about it when he moved feeling a bit more better then before when he pulled on shorts and a t-shirt wanting to be outside. The sun was hot when he grabbed a bottle of water and sat on the porch tilting his head back letting the sun warm him up.

Sometimes it was easier to just pretend. The world got by a lot quicker that way. The rest of his day ended up going surprisingly well when he didn't throw up once after the morning. He went to bed happily wrapped up in warm and protective arms before waking up the next morning ready for his five hour session in work. Derek scowled sleepily when he slipped out of his arms that morning, his feet cold against the floorboards when he padded into the bathroom. His fingers dragged through his morning bed head when he turned his head side to side and sighed deeply. The headache from yesterday remained when he rubbed his forehead a little too hard hissing at the pain that registered. 

The house was still sleeping when he yawned loudly cracking his jaw and stretching his arms over his head before heading downstairs. Again, the thought of food was unappealing when he really thought about it and he headed for coffee. The first taste though left his stomach churning when he spat it into the sink with a grimace. Stiles glared at his cup as he sniffed it and paused feeling an old tickle in the back of his mind. 

“I need to go to work,” he muttered tipping it down the sink with a soft sigh. 

The air was cooler today, clouds overhead, and a cool wind that went through him when he stepped outside after getting dressed and prepared. The car greeted him with a shine from the morning sunlight when he patted the side and climbed in.

“Come on then big boy, let's get going,” he muttered pushing the key into the ignition as they drove down the lane heading towards the main road. 

It was one of the officers who let him in when he realized his dad wasn't in yet. Stiles set up getting everything ready when he sat down grabbing the files under the desk. He liked to be kept busy and enjoyed doing what he did best. 

“How are you feeling today?”

“Better, it was nothing, probably like a twenty four bug but not a bug...I feel fine, well apart from the headache and pain in my stomach,” he muttered with a grimace. “Maybe it's not as over as I think.”

“You'll be fine, just need some food in you. You eaten?” he said holding out the egg and bacon sandwich. Stiles didn't get very far when the smell of the grease and egg hit him causing him to gag and run from his chair heading into the bathroom. He missed the toilet by far when the sink became his destination. 

His hands shook when he was done staring at the sick lingering there and he sucked in a breath stumbling back. 

“No, no, no, no,” he chanted when he realized what it was. His back slammed into the cubicle wall of the toilets before he slid down clutching at his hair. “Oh my god no...” 

“Stiles,” he said gently knocking once before stepping inside. There was a calmness in his expression ruined by the fear and confusion in his eyes when he closed the door and locked it behind him. “Stiles, can you hear me? You need to calm down.”

The words made no sense to him when he breathed hard, his vision blurring around the edges, and the tightness in his chest was the trigger to make him realize.

“I'm – I'm having a panic attack,” he muttered pushing his head through his knees trying to breathe and failing when tears sprang in his eyes. “Dad...”

“Come on, it's okay, son, just breathe,” he said calmly kneeling on the floor when he wrapped his arms around him from behind. Stiles gripped his hands tight breathing in and out slowly as instructed. There was a shudder to each intake when he cried silently feeling his shoulders shake when he tried to repress them. His dad was silent behind him when he held him close occasionally murmuring words he couldn't hear. 

It felt like hours later when he breathed calmly in and out through a snotty nose. His dad helping him up when he looked in the mirror grimacing deeply and looked away.

“You going to tell me what the hell just happened?”

“I can't...”

“Don't give me that, don't lie to me, what happened there was...should I call Derek?”

“No,” he pleaded shaking his head and sniffing deeply. “No, don't, I just need...I need to get out of here. I have to know.”

“Stiles, what do you mean? Stiles!” he shouted after him when he moved away unlocking the door hurriedly before running out of there. His hands hit his car when he fumbled with the handle getting in and starting the car up to get the hell out of there. The only destination he had in mind was the store when he wiped his eyes and nose with the back of his hand.

The terror and fear and the unknown built slowly brick by brick in his chest, he eventually arrived parking and not caring when he jumped out not locking it. Stiles tore down the aisles till he found them and stared at the packages in front of him. It was something he never ever thought he would buy when he picked up a pregnancy test kit. 

“Shit,” he whispered glancing side to side before taking the one in his hand and slapping it on the counter for her to scan. He ignored the checkout girl when she asked for the cash eying him carefully before handing him the change.

“Thanks,” he mumbled clutching the white carrier bag tight in his hands. Stiles couldn't go home when he sat in the car and he couldn't go back to the station when he tried to think of where to go. It hit him when he looked at his keys seeing one key he hadn't used in a while. 

His old house stared back at him when he looked up at it through his car window. It was a long moment before he got out slamming the car door behind him hard to walk up the drive. The bag was sweaty in his grip when he let himself in and leaned back against the front door the moment it closed. It felt oddly weird to be back in his old home. The old feeling of homesickness swept over him when he walked down the hallway to go upstairs. 

Stiles slammed the bathroom door closed when he ripped the bag away letting it flutter to the floor when he read the back before opening it up. The instructions were simple when he pulled the cap off the end and stood unzipping to pull himself out. It took a moment longer than he would have prepared to finally pee onto the stick and into the bowl. He shook zipping himself back up before setting aside and sitting down on the side of the bath. 

“It's okay, it's okay, I mean it could be a bug!” he muttered trying to reason with himself. “I mean people throw up all the time, no reason, no consequence, it doesn't mean I'm...it's just pure coincidence!” 

Stiles didn't believe a word he said when he groaned pressing his face into his hands. The three minutes were up when he moved bracing himself and finding no courage. 

“Oh fuck it!” he hissed picking it up and looking down at it. 

The positive sign was like a beacon when he sat down heavily on the toilet lid and exhaled wanting to curl up into a small ball and never emerge. 

“Oh my god,” he whispered shutting his eyes. “This can't be happening...not again. It can't happen again. It can't. I can't lose it.”

It was released from his fingers when he chucked it listening to it clatter against the wall with a finality. This wasn't something he could erase. This was real. 

The minutes ticked along turning into hours as he sat in the chill of the bathroom letting it sink in. His cell phone vibrated at odd moments and he stiffened hearing the front door open and close downstairs.

“Stiles,” his dad called out in question. 

He waited rather than get up for him to find him. The bathroom door opened slowly when he stepped inside and his eyes found him.

“Remember that conversation nearly a year ago? You know...werewolves...mates...your son being a miracle and magically developing a womb but then losing the baby?”

“It's a conversation to remember, yes, why do you ask?” he responded dryly.

Stiles leaned over snatching it up when he stood and held it out. “Congratulations, you're going to be a grandad.” 

He didn't wait around for the shock when he walked out heading downstairs. 

“Stiles, wait!”

“It can't happen again!” he shouted in response spinning to face him. “It – it can't! It nearly destroyed us, we nearly fell apart, and if I have lose this one...he'll leave.”

His dad licked his lips slowly when he stared down at the stick for a long minute before meeting his eyes calmly. 

“Miscarriage happens, Stiles, sometimes...sometimes they just can't survive but it doesn't mean it will happen every time. Now, I'm not going to lie and say this isn't the strangest situation I have ever seen and watching Scott transform into a werewolf was just the icing on this bizarre cake,” he said clutching at his shoulders. “But then again...our lives have never been simple and if you of all people can bring a new life into this crazy world then so be it. Just because you lost another doesn't mean you're going to lose this one.”

“How can you know that?” he whispered.

“Faith.”

“I lost it a long time ago.”

“Well...find it again. Don't think negatively, you can do this,” he muttered pulling him into a hug so he hugged him and Stiles clung. He sucked in a deep breath willing the tears away. 

“Are you going to tell him?”

“No, well not yet,” Stiles murmured when he pulled back and grimaced looking down at the floor. “I need to let this sink in. It doesn't seem real.”

“Okay,” he said cautiously. “Well don't keep him out of the dark too long. It wouldn't be fair to him.”

Stiles knew that when he nodded once letting his dad guide him when he sat down and stared at his hands. Orange juice and a sandwich he didn't want were set in front of him and he couldn't stomach them when he sat back. His eyes drifted closed when he brought his knees up and wrapped his arms around them. 

“Everything is going to be okay.”

“Yeah,” he murmured softly opening his eyes. “Maybe.”

~*~

Keeping a secret from a pack of werewolves had to be the hardest thing. Of course over the years he had trained himself to keep his heartbeat regular and not give himself away. He could name two times were he had successfully lied to all of them without them catching on or smelling the lie. 

This was different though, this wasn't a secret or a lie he couldn't keep for very long. His scent would change and he couldn't hold back his morning sickness in secret. The others weren't picking up anything suspicious when he was leaving early in the morning to drive away and throw up behind a tree. The limits he was driving himself to were insane but the worry and panic building like a storm inside of him stopped any irrational judgment. Stiles couldn't even bring himself to see Deaton in fear of what he might say. 

He was tucked up in the corner of the sofa watching when he brought the comforter he was using to his mouth as Scott and Isaac battled on the PlayStation. 

“You're cheating!”

“No, you're just a sore loser,” Isaac muttered with a grin shoving his shoulder so Scott swore pushing him back. 

He jumped when a hand touched his hair gently and he looked up to see Lydia staring down at him in cool concern.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, just tired.”

“Okay,” she said slowly dropping down next to him and glanced at the television and away before turning her attention to her phone. Stiles felt that uncomfortable itch from her too knowing eyes and he knew deep down she didn't believe a word he said. The itch grew too much when he pushed the comforter away and moved away heading to the porch.

He breathed in the humid air coughing at the scent of pine lingering in. It was penetrating and consuming when he leaned his forehead against the wood wishing for just one moment he could disappear. 

“Well you look like shit.”

“Complimentary as ever, Jackson,” he murmured pulling back to see him walking up with a bag slung over his back and sunglasses perched on his face. 

“What's wrong with you?”

“Nothing, headache,” he mumbled rubbing his forehead when he looked away from him.

“You've been acting like a freak for days,” Jackson spat looking him over before heading to the door. “There's always a reason behind it.”

Stiles couldn't retaliate and instead heard the front door open and close with a snap of finality. He sat staring out instead listening to the dim chatter in the house and wondered when Derek was going to get home. His body tensed and loosened quickly after the moment he saw the car drive up and park. 

“Why are you out here?” he asked slamming the car door behind him when he held a brown grocery bag.

“Needed fresh air, what's that?”

“Nachos, not my orders.”

“Ah,” he nodded glancing at the house behind him understanding. “I'm starving as well.”

The need to touch him when he walked closer to him overwhelmed him enough for him to reach out and cup his shoulder to kiss him. He felt the surprise twitch of his lips underneath his before an immediate response, his hand coming up to cup the back of neck to keep him in place. 

“Before you ask, I just had to,” he murmured when they parted for breath.

“I wasn't going to ask.”

He smiled faintly letting him go when they headed inside and Erica made a beeline for the grocery bag muttering under her breath. This was when it was easy to forget, when activity around them was hectic, and he could melt into the background. Normally he'd be the one talking over the rest but something held him back, held him grounded, and he let it slide over him. Boyd took charge when he set out getting the nachos and cheese and snapped when people tried to help. It was amusing to watch. 

Stiles picked a nacho up when it was done and they gathered in the living area to eat instead of the kitchen. Lydia sat next to him with Jackson close by when he stared down at his plate and prayed no one picked up on anything. 

“I'm not watching this,” Erica pointed out at the television.

“Well I am, I like it, suck it up,” Boyd replied with a smirk moving it out of the way when she tried to grab it. 

Stiles met Derek's eyes smirking when he rolled his eyes and he leaned over picking up his glass from the table the moment Jackson did. His arm brushed against him when they looked at each other, Jackson's nostrils flaring in what could be annoyance when he sucked in a breath. 

“Holy shit,” he hissed his hand knocking out so his own glass tumbled to the floor, the liquid flowing out and soaking the floorboards. Stiles could practically feel everything inside of him freeze when he watched as Jackson's eyes widened in realization.

“What?” Isaac questioned when he pulled back slowly to see everyone staring at them. Derek in particular looking confused when he stared them both down.

“Nothing, he – gave me an electric shock,” Jackson said shaking out his arm and sitting back with a scowl. 

“Okay then...” Erica murmured raising an eyebrow before refocusing on the television. The others didn't seem too convinced when they glanced at each other before resuming eating. Stiles didn't feel hungry any longer when he glanced down at his plate and away conscious of Derek looking at him every now and again. 

It was when he was done that he headed upstairs claiming he needed the bathroom that Jackson followed him. 

“I told you there was always a reason you acted like a freak,” he hissed into his ear so he flinched clenching his jaw hard and gripped his arm tugging him into the bathroom with him. Stiles turned on both taps so the water ran hard so they couldn't hear downstairs and he spun towards him. 

“What do you want me to say?”

“I want you to explain why you smell...why you smell...” he trailed off exhaling hard. “You smell like you did. It's faint, really faint, it's no wonder the others haven't noticed... but it's there, I caught a whiff. Are you...?” 

“I found out about five days ago.”

“What? Why didn't you say anything?!” he demanded.

“Oh don't you start judging me,” he hissed shoving Jackson hard in the chest so he glared at him. “You think I should be jumping up and down and joyful? Should we paint the nursery, Jackson?”

“It's not the same as last time!”

“It's exactly the same,” he argued in a low voice. “You can't tell...I mean it, Jackson, I will tell them, I will, but not yet.”

“How is it any different from telling them now?”

“Because I'm not ready, if you tell them, werewolf or not, I'll make you suffer,” he threatened leaning into his personal space before leaving the bathroom and shutting himself in the bedroom. 

Stiles chewed on his thumb nail sitting cross-legged on the bed when Derek opened the door and shut it behind him silently. 

“Stiles...”

“Nothing is going on.”

“I beg to differ, you've been acting off all day.”

“I didn't get much sleep last night, kept waking up.”

Derek narrowed his eyes at him sighing heavily. “You're lying.”

“Am I not allowed to have an off day? You're the fucking king of them, remember?” he snapped grabbing the pillow and shoving it over his face to lie down. 

“I didn't say you couldn't,” Derek replied tugging it away and dropping it on the side when he joined him. “You still lied though.”

“So? Sometimes – sometimes a little truth hurts. So why not hear the lie.”

“I'd rather have the truth.” 

“You always do,” he muttered with a sigh moving when Derek grabbed his wrist so he ended up straddling his lap. “Kiss me.” 

Derek's fingers cupped his jaw gently when he searched his eyes like he could find the answer for his unspoken question. The flicker of disappointment in his eyes before he kissed him was like a punch to Stiles' chest when he wrapped his arms around his neck almost clinging. His lips parted when it deepened and he groaned seeking more when his stubble rubbed against his cheeks in a way that would leave a mark. The wet hot heat of his mouth was all he could have wanted in that moment when his back hit the bed. Derek's fingers were cool when they slipped under his shirt trailing over his hips and stomach so his heart was in his throat when it hit him. 

“Stiles -”

“No, shut the fuck up,” he muttered shaking his head when he drew him back in kissing him hard so his lips protested in pain. Derek growled under his breath in response when his weight pressed against him and he let his mind forget for just one moment. It was a heavy make-out session with a blow job that left his mind reeling and sparking when they parted lying side by side. 

“You'd tell me if something was wrong, wouldn't you?” 

Stiles rolled his head towards him, his heart seizing at the soft tone and he nodded despite everything. He couldn't trust himself to speak a lie. 

“I love you,” he murmured smiling gently when he lifted his hand and kissed his inner wrist gently so he settled on his chest closing his eyes. 

The next day wasn't any easier not with Jackson in the know and his constant watching and eyes full of every stupid emotion he could name was there. Stiles hated it and spent most of his time avoiding him in the house and staying in the bedroom. The house was empty when he sat in bed with his laptop flicking through web pages when he heard a sharp rap on the door.

“What?” he barked tensing when Jackson appeared. “Go away, Jackson.”

“No, I don't think I will, since we're alone, and I'm the one who knows,” he said pointing a finger at himself when he sat on the bed and stared at him intently. “We're going to talk.”

“You want to talk? What's with the sudden change of heart? One minute you hate my guts and the next we're having cozy chats on my bed. Did you bring nail varnish? Maybe we can paint our toes afterward,” he suggested putting the laptop down, grabbing Derek's cushion when he flung it on his stomach to hug it. 

“Oh you're still an asshole, always have been, and I'm not saying I'm all warm and cuddly for you but you're my alpha's mate, and...” he trailed off swallowing hard when he stared at the wall. “I've been told to try harder.”

“By who?”

“Everyone! Especially Lydia and...look this is...this is important,” Jackson argued pointing at him. “You're...fucking pregnant! I mean fuck sake can this get any weirder?”

“No,” he admitted with a dry snort. 

“You're scared.”

“Thanks, Sherlock.”

“You think you're going to miscarry.”

“Probably,” he murmured exhaling heavily and looking towards the window. “I mean what if it's like one of them things...I can actually get pregnant but can't carry the baby to term...a vicious circle.” 

“You need to tell Derek,” Jackson said quietly after a long minute of silence.

“I know. I don't want to lose it,” he whispered resting his chin on his knee. “I've had days...hours to think...and I'm not going to lose it. I can't...”

“Then you won't.”

Stiles blinked turning his head to look at him and couldn't help but completely baffled by the whole situation. A kind and concerned Jackson was something to worry about. 

“I need you to do something for me, if you're up for it?”

“What?”

“Get me a pregnancy test?”

“Why?”

“It's for Derek, hopefully I can keep the fact I kept it from him for so long to one side if I show him a positive test.”

Jackson nodded holding out his hand for the cash when he slapped it in smiling at him gratefully. It didn't take him long to return from the store with one when he tossed it at him and he caught it. 

“So how are you going to do this?”

“Derek first and then the rest, we're going to need a long moment.”

“Want us all out?”

“Yeah, tell them you're all going for a burger,” he muttered biting his thumb at the thought of telling Derek. “God this is weird, you, me, getting on, a sort of weird...friendship I want to call it?”

“Like I said you're still an asshole.”

“Yeah and you're an arrogant prick!” he cried with a grin watching as he flipped him the finger before walking out. 

Waiting for Derek was one way to have a nervous breakdown when he remained in the bedroom pacing up and down staring out. The others had left twenty minutes ago. Jackson's insistence there was no food and he was paying was one way to get everyone out so they could discuss behind his back why he was acting weird. 

His heart was in his throat when Derek's car pulled up and he stared at the package before grabbing it. Stiles stood in the bathroom when he peed on the stick and shook it out when he waited stepping out into the bedroom. 

“Where is everyone?” Derek said frowning when he stepped inside and he pulled off his jacket flinging it on the bed. 

“Burger, Jackson's treat, I know,” he muttered holding up his hands when a startled look appeared on his face. “But we need to talk.”

“We do?”

Stiles nodded biting his lip hard at the wary expression he now had when his arms folded across his chest. “It's a little hard to explain in words and because actions speak louder then...you should have this.”

Derek's hard expression faltered the moment he pulled out his hand from behind his back. His heart was beating a little too quickly for comfort in his chest when he walked over to him, his hand to his surprise trembling when he reached out to take it from him. 

“Positive,” Derek mumbled staring down at it. “This is positive.”

“Yeah...just a little bit.” 

“How?”

“What do you mean how?” Stiles demanded snatching it back off him. “How do you think you make a baby, Derek?”

“I know how, Stiles, I mean...when...do you know how many weeks?”

“No idea, but we don't exactly use condoms though do we? No need for them! But – but I think I have an idea...remember all those weeks back when we argued and I kept saying sorry?”

“Yes.”

“Well I felt something shift in the air that night, didn't know what it was, but if not that then one of the dozens of times we have fucked without a condom.”

Derek's hand scrubbed down his cheek when he stared up at the ceiling and he stared at him feeling and sensing the turmoil in him. 

“How long have you known?”

“Near enough a week, oh don't look at me like that, Derek, I was scared! Terrified! I didn't know...I was throwing up in work! I – I had to leave the house to throw up and I feel like shit! I took the test and...it was positive,” he shouted walking away from him to stand and look out of the window. “It's just what I needed, no we needed, and I didn't know what to do and then Jackson found out. That's the reason he freaked out the other day...he smelt it on me.” 

His eyes shut when he swallowed the lump in his throat and he wanted to sag in relief when he came up behind him. His arms were warm and tight when they wound around his waist and he rested his chest against his back. It was exactly what he needed. The reassurance was there in his body language and he couldn't resist not leaning back into it.

“I won't lose this one,” he whispered.

“Stiles, don't.”

“I won't,” he muttered determined. “I refuse.”

“We need to see Deaton,” he murmured softly against his lobe. “Now.”

“Now?”

“Yes,” he said stepping back and taking his hand when he literally tugged him out of the bedroom heading downstairs. Stiles grabbed his shoes and hoodie hurriedly putting them on before Derek exploded in impatience. There was no attempt in talking him out of it when he was bundled into the car and drove over there at speeds his own dad would frown about. 

Deaton was still in work when Derek practically charged in with Stiles in tow. 

“Gentlemen, what do I owe this pleasure?” he said looking between them before a dawning realization sparked in his eyes. “There would be only one reason you would come together.”

“Yeah, no dangers this time, doc, but an unexpected surprise is just one of them,” Stiles said with a dramatic shrug when they walked through the gate to the back. “I took a test.”

“What did it say?”

“Positive,” Derek answered pressing a warm hand to his lower back when they stepped into the back room. 

“Do you know how many weeks?”

“Unsure,” Stiles replied with a shrug. “Maybe five weeks, maybe less, I don't know. I've had morning sickness though, headaches, constant nausea, my body aches! Seriously...hellish.”

“Well,” Deaton said tilting his head considering as he looked at him. “We can have an ultrasound now, see what's going on.”

Stiles swallowed his panic down when he nodded accepting that when he walked to the table. 

“It's a good job you have one.”

“Animals do get pregnant, Stiles.”

“Sure,” he mumbled lifting his top so he could put the jelly on over his abdomen. Derek hovered near his head when he looked back watching him watch Deaton. Deaton frowned at the screen for a moment before pressing the probe and running it across till he found what he was looking for. 

“Ah there we are, I'd say you were around six weeks,” Deaton said pointing it out on the screen when he pushed up to see the tiny blob on the screen, a heartbeat beating a hundred beats a minute, and very much alive. His heart seized when he looked at it and he exhaled shakily wanting the months to fly by so he could see him or her. The doubt, panic, and every negative feeling entered his mind though when he met Deaton's eyes. They were understanding when he removed the probe and handed him some paper towels to wipe it away. 

“I understand that you're both concerned.”

“Understatement,” Stiles murmured with a soft snort. “I'm not losing this one, I refuse.”

“I know how you feel, Stiles...”

“No you don't, that's the point, and I know you're going to say it's mother nature and the way of life but you know what? Mother nature can go fuck herself! She's already a mother, she's got everything she could have wanted,” he argued jumping down. “I'm not losing this baby! I will carry him or her to full term.”

Stiles squeezed his hand in return when Derek stepped towards him linking them together. Deaton nodded, a small smile dancing on his lips like he fully accepted him to say that. 

“Positivity, a wonderful thing to have, but you must take care. You were ten weeks last time but that doesn't necessarily mean it will happen again. Our bodies are different, everyone is different, experiences stuff differently. You're a man, not a woman, and a woman has the body to accommodate a child. The hips, the uterus, the breasts, and so on, whilst you do not. Your body will grow to do this but it won't be easy, pregnancy isn't a breeze, and you need to take care,” he said wiping his hands when he looked between them both. “Get the books, read the dos and the don'ts, eat the right food, but don't dwell on the past. It's there for a reason.”

“Wise words...” he mumbled feeling one hundred per cent overwhelmed.

“We'll do that,” Derek said speaking for them both when Stiles found himself unable to. “Come on.”

“Thanks, Deaton, really,” he murmured holding onto his hand tight when they walked out of there. “We must be like the biggest burden on him. He's a vet, not a doctor.”

“Yeah but he understands and I don't think you fancy being a medical mystery if a doctor found out.”

“Still...burden,” he mumbled pulling at his hand till he stopped and he wrapped his arms around his neck hugging him. His arms wrapped around him almost instantly when they held each other in the parking lot. His hand rubbed up and down his back slowly and he breathed in his warm scent never wanting to leave. 

“We have to tell the others.”

“I know,” Derek whispered into his temple kissing it gently before they pulled away from each other. 

They were already back when they arrived back home and Derek was out of the car and up to the house before he could even blink. He swallowed unbuckling and getting out of the car knowing that inside he was getting them together. They gathered in the living area when he got in, their expressions mixed, some in confusion, in fear, and Jackson was the only one who sat with a knowing expression when he sucked on his drink in peace. 

“What's going on?” Scott questioned looking between them. “Has something happened?”

“Not exactly,” Stiles grimaced scratching the back of his head. “Basically...I'm pregnant...again...and I'm six weeks. I found out a week ago, kept it a secret, but it's about time everyone knew. Despite everything...” 

The silence and stunned expressions could have been almost funny if not for the reasons behind them. Stiles eyes sought out Scott's when he stared at him in wonder and something like pity when he wrapped his arms around his body. 

“Well,” Erica announced loudly startling nearly everyone. “I think it's great, really, maybe this time it'll be different. We'll just have to wait and see.” 

Stiles gave her a small smile when she flashed him a grin and he could only hope for the same. 

~*~

Stiles swore loudly and aggressively when he spat the remains of sick out of his mouth and into the bowl. His morning sickness was the curse on his life when he sat back against the wall leaning into Derek when he rubbed the back of his neck and head. 

“This sucks, this – this...is worth it...” he muttered trailing off when he shut his eyes. There was a small hesitant knock on the door that caught both of their attentions and they looked to see Scott, Isaac, Lydia and Jackson appear. 

“We brought supplies, we guessed it might be another day in the bathroom,” Isaac explained holding up the bottles of water. Jackson tossed ginger biscuits to Derek who caught them with a nod of thanks. 

“It's also...the eleventh week,” Scott injected softly so he lifted his head and nodded already knowing this. 

“Do you need anything else?” Lydia questioned handing him a comforter which he took gratefully. 

“No, I'm good, thanks guys.” 

The door closed behind them when they left and he side eyed Derek sitting on the floor next to him. “You can go if you want, I'll be good for another hour or two.”

“No.”

“Stubborn ass.” 

“For looking after you?”

“I guess,” he murmured wrapping the comforter around his shoulders and leaning against him when he wrapped his arms around his body. “It's all worth it in the end.”

His hand fisted in his top gently when he repositioned himself listening to his heartbeat and his eyes closed resting for just a moment. Derek was silent around him and he couldn't stop the jolt running through him when his hand pressed to his stomach.

“I can hear the heartbeat,” he whispered. 

Stiles turned his head meeting his eyes and swallowed at the fear dwelling deep in there. It was the kind that would never leave and it affected him in a way that was like drowning. Consuming, terrifying for the unknown, and it was one hundred per cent shared. It was one thing to be hopeful but hope was a tricky thing when it failed and you were left with the bitter disappointment instead. Stiles didn't want to hope, he couldn't let himself cling onto something so small, so fragile, and have it slip away in the end. 

“I can do this, I won't lose this one, and I know it's testing fate and I can't really stop it...but I'm going to give you this,” Stiles said softly pressing a lingering kiss to his lips. 

“I love you,” he whispered in return creating a warmth that ran through him when he wrapped his arms around his neck in a desperate hug. It was the kind that left his bones protesting when he was held in return and he let the one small part of him, the one shining and pulsing in hope shine for one long moment.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It takes the piss while you have a 9-5 job and have no energy to write a ten thousand chapter out. I am so sorry for the delay of this but I love this chapter so please enjoy, comment, leave the love guys!

It was one thing to be in constant fear of losing something so precious to you all over again but having the nightmares alongside it was far worse. Back then the dreams were enough to terrify him to core when he dreamed of blood, his hands soaked, his heart aching in a way to leave him waking up in panic attacks. The miscarriage lying heavily in their hearts and minds when Derek comforted him each and every time he woke up gasping, crying, or even screaming. Over the course of time they slipped away but they popped up every now and again when he wasn't expecting it. It was like his body and mind wanted to remind him of everything that happened to him over and over again. 

Now they were back and Stiles slept uneasily when his mind took him to places he didn't want to see. His eyes taking in the blood that coated his arms and hands, the meaty and iron tinged smell of blood invaded his scent when he trembled and shook his head. The panic seizing his throat, his heart, his chest, and everything so he whimpered when the wails of a child could be heard. 

It was his awareness that brought him out of his dream with a shuddering cry when he sat up, his hands pressed to his stomach when he breathed harshly. Derek was wrapped around him almost instantly when he breathed feeling tears prick in his eyes and he opened his mouth to speak but found nothing.

“Stiles, it's okay, listen to me,” he whispered cupping his cheek. “I can hear the heartbeat, just as strong as ever.”

“It's the same dream, the same one, always the same one,” he whispered pressing his face into his shoulder so his arms wrapped around him tight. “Why does this keep happening?”

“They're just dreams, Stiles, they're not real. But we are are and this one is.”

Stiles swallowed the lump in his throat when he glanced up at him seeing him through the darkness of their bedroom, his silhouette dark along with his eyes that stared out across the empty space. Back then it hadn't been the pack or even Stiles to know what had happened. It had been Derek. Derek the one to notice the heartbeat he had grown to love had stopped beating. It had been the terror in his eyes that alerted Stiles to what had happened, a single look, and he had known. 

“Come on,” he whispered when they laid back down and Stiles sighed deeply resting his back against his chest. Sleep was hard to come by and he spent the remainder of the night tossing and turning till morning's light hit. His eyes ached and his stomach was twisted with nausea when he wrapped his arms around the comforter. 

His morning sickness or afternoon sickness and even evening sickness when his body felt like it wasn't something to be trifled with. The waves of sickness overcome him when he pushed out of bed running for the bathroom. Stiles heaved and gagged when last night's dinner came up and his throat burned from the acid. His hands trembled when he leaned up to flush it away and sit back. The shivers that rocked through him were stopped when arms wrapped around him from behind and he melted into Derek who shushed him. 

“Fuck,” he whispered feeling achy and exhausted when he was brought back to bed. 

It didn't stop there. He was in and out of the bathroom every day that, unable to keep food or even water down enough for him not to throw it back up. His throat was raw, his stomach ached, and he was miserable when he curled up in bed knowing the others were worried. Derek most of all when he hovered around him wanting to be doing something useful and unable to. 

“What if it's killing him?” Scott whispered.

Stiles who was sat in the bathroom at the point looked at the door stunned. It was halfway closed but he could still hear voices traveling through if he tried hard enough.

“What?” Lydia demanded. “He has morning sickness, it's not killing him.”

“He can't stop throwing up! He can't keep anything down! He's losing weight, he looks like shit,” Scott argued with her. “What if it is? What if it doesn't stop?!”

“He's thirteen weeks! His morning sickness will stop soon.”

“Everyone is different!”

“Enough,” Derek snapped startling them into silence and Stiles to swallow hard. “He's going to be fine. Don't you both have something to be doing?”

The door opened and shut behind him when Derek walked in holding a bottle of water, ginger candy and ginger cookies. Stiles reached for them gratefully when he took a sip of water and settled back feeling weak but determined. 

“I heard all of that.”

“You're not dying, Stiles, it's morning sickness, it's nothing serious,” he said stroking the side of his head and pulling back to sit with him. “You're close to the end of your first trimester. It means the risk of miscarriage is...”

“Don't say it,” Stiles pleaded interrupting him to shake his head. “Just don't.” 

“It has to be said though.”

“No it doesn't, he or she is not safe in my eyes till they're in my arms. So don't say it.” 

Stiles unwrapped a candy when he popped it into his mouth, the spiciness of it exploding onto his stomach so he sighed leaning back against the wall. The ginger of his sweet burnt his throat but in a good way when he closed his eyes praying it worked. Derek's arms went around him when he settled back and let him rock him side to side gently when he breathed in and out. 

It was an hour and a half of sitting on the cold bathroom floor when he realized he hadn't thrown up yet. His eyes opened when he peeked up at Derek. His eyes were closed like his had been and he shook his shoulder gently when he stood up.

“Bed,” he said gently taking his hand so they got into the bed instead. Stiles unwrapped another candy when he got into the bed using his chest as a pillow and inhaled the smell of him deeply. It was comforting and enough for him to settle into sleep. 

Waking up later was disorientating when he realized the only reason he had was for the door opening and Isaac standing there with a tray.

“Tomato and rice soup, we thought you could try since...well you haven't been sick since this morning.”

“Yeah, thanks, Isaac,” he muttered sitting up when he brought over. Derek was still sleeping on his side when they both glanced at him and away.

“Let him sleep, he's not been sleeping either,” he muttered so Isaac nodded stepping away and moving out. The smell of the soup hit him hard so his stomach rumbled and he took a sip from the spoon and held down the urge to moan in satisfaction. It felt so good.

The first taste was the start when he swallowed more down till he was tearing into the bread like a hungry animal. If he was going to throw it up then he better enjoy it while he could. His spoon hit the bowl with a clatter which broke Derek out of his sleep when he inhaled deeply opening his eyes and Stiles bit his lip.

“Sorry.”

“No, it's fine, you're eating,” he murmured staring at the empty bowl and him in wonder. “Any nausea?”

“Nope,” he said with a small smile and held up his bag of ginger candy. “Oh my god, these are good...” 

“It was Allison who found them.”

“Yeah well she's a genius,” he muttered placing the tray on the floor and sitting back with a groan. “I'm stuffed now though. I think my stomach shrunk to the size of a tennis ball.”

“I knew you'd be fine.”

“Well I'm not dying,” he muttered with a dry snort. “Reckon I could go back to work?”

“You don't have to work, Stiles,” Derek murmured rolling onto his back when he stretched out his arms. “You need to rest, take it easy.”

“What for the next six months? Derek, I'll go insane! Soon enough I won't be able to walk without waddling, people seeing me in the street and wondering what happened to the skinny guy developing a beer gut! I need to be able to still have a life. I like my job,” he argued refusing to back down. “Nothing is going to happen.”

Derek shot him an annoyed look at that when he pushed himself out of bed. “I thought we all agreed to never say that again? This is Beacon Hills, Stiles, something is always happening.”

“Yeah because we live in a fucking nightmare. No one would dare mess with me, I won't let them, I am not having some...thing out there ruin what I have going on in here,” he said dramatically pointing at his stomach. “You need to trust me.”

“I do trust you, I trust you more than anyone in the world, Stiles, and you know that. But I worry, I worry you could overwork yourself...”

“Deaton told us to act normal! Wrapping me up in bubble wrap and hiding me from the world is not normal.”

“I want to protect you!”

“I don't need protecting,” he argued back hearing and feeling his voice rise by the second. The anger and frustration bubbled under his skin and he crossed his arms watching Derek pace the room. 

“You're vulnerable, more vulnerable than anyone in the pack right now, but not because you're human. You are pregnant.”

“Yep, well done on that deduction, Sherlock, but being pregnant doesn't essentially mean you have to lock me down. I can stand up for myself and I know you're being you. You worry, I know you're being supportive and understanding and you're concerned something might happen, but this is my body and my life. I can take care of myself, you know I can. If I want to go back to work...then I'm going back to work.” 

“What if something happens?!”

“Then it happens!” he shouted back at him. “I will not lose this baby, Derek, I won't but...last time I was at home, I hadn't left the house, and it happened. I need fresh air, to communicate, see my dad, walk in the woods without you or the pack trailing ten feet behind me!” 

“We just want to look after you.”

“I know...but it's suffocating.” 

Derek's eyes were dark with clouded concern and judgment when he stood in the middle of the room, his arms tight across his chest, and he hated seeing it. 

“Fine,” Derek murmured. “Go to work, do what you want. You're right after all...you always are.”

“Derek...” he said stepping forward and halting in step when he walked out of the bedroom. His lips pressed together when he listened to the hushed voices downstairs before the slam of the front door. Derek would be gone for hours now. 

Stiles exhaled harshly rubbing his hands down his face before heading into the bathroom for a shower. His skin felt tight and he smelt awful when he stepped into the warm water. He scrubbed the bubbles over himself till he felt soft, clean, and ready for whatever the day brought to him. Thankfully his stomach was feeling okay now and the urge to vomit wasn't there when he stepped out.

It was quiet downstairs when he dressed in sweats and he walked into find Lydia, Scott, and Isaac looking over his baby books. 

“What are you guys doing?”

It was only Lydia who remained reading whilst the other two slammed the cover closed and turned to look at him with wide eyes.

“We're reading, what does it look like?”

“I get that, why my baby books though?” he said sitting down and joining them. 

“Looking over the development, trimesters, scans, all that,” Isaac explained with a shrug. “It's like research...for the pup.”

“Right,” he muttered raising his eyebrows but letting him have it. 

“We heard you two arguing, everything alright?” Scott asked gently meeting his eyes. 

“Yep, fine, just...an argument,” he said with a shrug and a small sad smile. “We'll get over it and then have makeup sex. Probably be more on the gentler side but once he gets going...”

“No, no, no, I don't need to know any more!” Scott protested covering his ears whilst Lydia looked intrigued and Isaac disgusted. 

“I would like to know more,” she smirked so he snorted with laughter seeing the horror in Isaac's and Scott's eyes. 

“I'm going back to work,” he said catching all their attention. “Soon as possible really. Don't even try arguing with me.” 

“Well I am, why would you want to do that to yourself?” Lydia said slamming the book closed. “You have the chance to be off work and you're opting to be in work?”

“I need to get out of the house! I've spent day and night being sick and unable to do anything else but that and sleep. In a few months I'll be too big for anything else so I need to do something.”

Stiles knew he was right and nothing was going to change his mind about it. It wasn't long after that Jackson, Erica, and Boyd had arrived home and macaroni and cheese with ham was made. Stiles sucked on a sweet before practically inhaling his food when a bowl was given to him. 

Derek was quiet when he eventually came back home. Stiles lifted his head to look at him and saw the apology in his eyes when they communicated with their eyes instead of words. He leaned in automatically when he ducked his head kissing him, a brief touch of their lips before he moved away and headed into the kitchen. He ducked his head avoiding the sneaky glances at him from the others and focused on the rest of the meal looking forward to when he could go to bed. 

“I'm sorry,” Derek murmured when they were finally in bed that night. “I just...”

“Worry?” Stiles finished for him when he trailed his fingers over his chest. 

“I don't want anything to happen to you, to the baby, I want you safe.”

“Good job I'm such a bad-ass then.” 

“I wish you'd take this serious.”

“I am, you're just being paranoid.”

“Concerned.”

“No, there's the human level of concerned, then there's the Derek Hale version,” Stiles muttered holding his hand out to gesture. “Give you the chance and you'd slaughter the army if anything happened.”

“I've lost too much.” 

His throat constricted because he knew that far too well and instead rested his hand over his heart wanting to be reassuring. His arms gathered around him warm and tight when they fit so Derek was spooning him from behind. 

“I won't lose this,” he whispered against his ear so his eyes opened and he swallowed not knowing how to respond so chose to sleep instead. 

Stiles got his wish though in the end and two days with the ginger candy helping him he dressed and returned to work. Derek's concerned eyes following him when he got into the car and waved him off was enough to make him paranoid for the rest of the day. His dad wasn't best pleased but in the end it was his decision and he was glad to be out of the house. 

“So, really, how is it going? I know you had a scan the other day,” his dad questioned when they sat together for lunch. 

“It's fine, seriously, I've...” he looked around carefully aware of people. “I've passed my first trimester which Derek is secretly ecstatic about. Deaton said all is well with the baby...heartbeat is good, everything is good with me...well he's a bit worried about my weight. We won't know the sex till our second scan. Derek is...he's just so excited.”

“So he should be.”

“It doesn't mean we're out of the clear!”

“It means the risk isn't as great, Stiles, and you've passed the last time. You should start looking forward to this.”

“Screw that,” he muttered pushing a grape into his mouth to chew it. “I won't be happy till...till they're here and I won't have to worry.”

“You'll still worry when they're here, Stiles.” 

“Yeah,” he admitted with a twist of his mouth before kicking his feet up on the table ignoring the small sound of protest from his dad. 

“Just like your mother,” his dad said startling him out of mid chew of his grape. “She was the same, constantly worried, every pain, every movement, every kick, just constantly worried. She was over the moon when labor started.” 

“Oh so that's where it's come from,” Stiles mumbled licking his thumb from the stray juices. “Derek will be so relieved.” 

“I think you're going to be amazing at this.”

“You think?”

“You doubt yourself,” his dad stated rather than questioned.

“No and yes, I know I can be enough for this baby but scared I'll fail them.”

“Now that - that could never happen,” he said gripping his ankle and giving it a quick squeeze. “You're my son and you're not going to fail.”

Stiles smiled gently at that and continued to pick at his lunch till it was gone. It was halfway through the day when he got a stomach ache and a headache. It was the cherry on top of his day when he knocked at the door and one look to his dad was enough.

“I'll see you tomorrow, take it easy.”

Stiles was ready for a lie down when he got into the car and drove home quick as he could. Derek was on the porch when he drove up and he paused for a moment taking him in, taking in his stance from the crossed arms to the determined set of his jaw. 

“Why are you home so early? What's wrong?”

“Fuck, paranoia or what, I have a stomach ache and a headache so came home to rest,” he explained jumping up on the porch to wrap his arms around his neck. “Hello.”

“You're going to give me gray hair,” he grumbled when he pushed his nose into his jaw inhaling deeply.

“Did you pine? Did you pace the room worrying about me?” he teased with a grin when he growled softly kissing his neck. “Should I go inside and see everything destroyed because you had a tantrum?”

“Shut up,” he whispered gripping the back of his neck so he could kiss him. Stiles parted his lips easily enough when he clung to him and took his fill when their tongues slid against each other. 

“I'm just glad you're home.” 

“So am I, need a lie down,” he said taking his hand when they walked inside. “Empty house?”

“Everyone is out,” he murmured wrapping his arms around his waist so he smirked leaning back into him. 

“I change my mind, I can lay down with you instead,” he murmured turning quickly to kiss him as they backed up towards the stairs. Clothes were thrown carelessly as they dumped them on the stairs and he couldn't stop the grin at imagining the others finding them. His back hit the bed when Derek hovered over him placing gentle kisses over his collarbone so he moaned arching his throat for more. 

There was a noticeable change to how he was handling him when he kissed down his chest slowly, his hands caressing over his hips and pelvis gently so he shuddered. It was gentle, loving, and where rough used to be was replaced with care. Stiles knew Derek wouldn't be rough with him now with the baby in between them and his constant worry that something would happen. His teeth bit into his teeth when he kissed over his belly button so he shivered threading his fingers into his hair. Stiles spread his legs further when his briefs were removed and tossed on the floor when Derek invaded in between his thighs. 

“Fuck me,” Stiles whispered cupping his jaw and smirked when he moved his head to snap at his fingers gently. “Come on, I need it.” 

“You always need it.”

“I'm pregnant now, forever horny, begging for it like a whore,” he whispered closing his eyes and opening his mouth wordlessly when a finger brushed over his hole. “Derek, please!” 

“So impatient,” he hissed leaning into capture his mouth in a filthy kiss that left him gagging for more when he released him. The small whimper escaped his lips only to be replaced by a long moan when a lubricated finger finally breached him. Derek stretched him open when he wriggled and scissored his fingers till he was ready and writhing desperately for him. Stiles groaned gripping his shoulders tight when Derek held his hips to push inside of him. 

The pleasure of it clouded his mind when he encouraged him with breathy pants to fuck him harder. He wrapped his legs around his waist, his ankles pressing into lower back when he rolled his hips up towards him forcing him deeper. The bed groaned underneath their weight, he thrust into him hard catching the sweet spot. Stiles cried out so his free hand gripped into his hair and he bit his lip hard when he kissed him. The taste of blood hit his tongue when he licked it clean, his mouth lifting into a grin when he glared kissing him harder. 

Stiles wrapped a hand around his own cock when he stroked himself roughly looking into his eyes when he brought himself to orgasm. He gasped squeezing his eyes closed when it happened and the come splattered against his chest. It shuddered through him when he clenched around Derek who hissed at the sensation. His body was pliant and loose when he moaned long and desperately clinging to him when he thrust into him once, twice, before he climaxed deep into him. Stiles kissed him catching his soft moans of completion and smiled against his lips when he responded. Derek pulled away to pepper his jaw with kisses before pulling out to roll onto his back.

“Oh my god, that was awesome,” Stiles breathed resting his hands over his stomach. “But my stomach still hurts.”

“Your stomach?” Derek murmured flashing him a worried look.

“Yeah...why? Can you still hear the heartbeat?!” he demanded feeling panic seize his chest hard enough for him to feel physically sick and panicked.

“Yes, of course I can, you know I would tell you if I didn't,” he assured quickly calming his panic when he was pulled closer. Stiles closed his eyes when Derek kissed his forehead softly. 

“Shit, fuck, sorry, that scared me,” he murmured tucking his face into his neck. “Yeah, it's just a stomach ache. Too many grapes.” 

“It's fine, stronger than ever,” he whispered so he nodded and hated how paranoid he really was deep down. They lay together feeling the sweat and come in between their bodies cool and for the front door to open.

“Are you kidding me?” Erica demanded loudly enough for Stiles to laugh quietly into his shoulder. “You guys are like horny dogs! No pun intended by the way!”

“It's just going to get worse, my hormones are all over the place,” Stiles said casually when he pulled up to look down at him. “You ready for that?”

“Of course.” 

“Bring it on,” he teased gently and despite the ups and downs he was truly looking forward to it. 

~*~

The weeks that passed were like nothing when he worked most days till he couldn't and his bump became more and more visible. Derek's fascination with touching him when he could was a regular thing now when he came up at odd moments to rest his hands against it. Every single day in his eyes was a blessing when it ended and the baby survived another day. It was sick to think about but his constant worrying wouldn't cease no matter how much he tried. 

The weeks passed and so did summer when it slowly began the change and fall of autumn. It was odd waking up to see the splashes of yellow and orange in the trees, the bitter edge of cold melting into the warmth of the day. It was changing into autumn and it meant the end of the year was coming. The reminder of Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas was around the corner and he couldn't care less about them. The only thing he wanted was his second scan and that was to be at seventeen weeks. 

Stiles was anxious to see the baby and find out the sex and when the day finally arrived he was anxious to go.

“You take the piss, Hale!” he shouted up the stairs when he waited for Derek to get ready.

“Promise me you'll bring home a scan picture,” Erica insisted.

“I promise...if we eventually get there!” he shouted resting a hand on his stomach. 

“I'm coming!”

“Yeah, not for a long time if I have my way,” he muttered leaning against the bannister.

“Was that a dirty pun?” Erica questioned with a raised eyebrow.

Stiles smirked at her whilst Scott who was nearby grimaced. Derek eventually joined them when he came downstairs uncaring and grabbed his car keys. 

“So impatient.”

“Well excuse me for wanting to see our baby, god forbid...” he mumbled under his breath when he left the house zipping up his hoodie. 

Deaton was ready and waiting for them when they finally arrived and he was practically buzzing with excitement by the time he got inside.

“How have you been feeling?” 

“Good, you know the nausea and morning sickness is practically gone, but I ache all over sometimes, my lower back hurts, and I can't stop eating.”

“Chicken and pickles,” Derek muttered with a shake of his head.

“Cravings, god that would be so good right now!”

“No.”

“Why are you breaking my heart?!” Stiles demanded jumping a little into silence when Deaton cleared his throat and he was instructed to lie back. His body jumped when the cool gel touched his abdomen when Deaton smeared it over and grabbed the transducer. Derek grabbed his hand which he squeezed back despite the pain when his bones grinded together and he knew there and then that Derek was just as nervous as he was. 

The screen was filled with the image of a baby looking a lot more human than a tiny blob with a heartbeat. His heart seemed to swell with warmth and love at the sight whilst Deaton talked more to himself and more to Derek who was listening intrigued. Meanwhile he couldn't take his eyes off the screen.

“I assume you want to know the sex.”

“Yes,” Stiles answered a little too quickly, his eyes flicking to Derek who nodded with him. “So can you tell us?”

“Well...I'm no doctor but I am more than certain, I'd say ninety nine per cent because there's always a little room for doubt but I would say that you are...”

“What!?” he demanded leaning forward. 

Deaton half smiled milking it when he looked between them. “You're having a boy.”

Stiles literally felt his mouth fall open when he gaped at him letting it sink in.

“Boy? We're having a boy?” Derek murmured stunned glancing at him and away like he didn't know how to handle it. Stiles grabbed his hand tugging at it till he moved and he kissed him softly, his lips moving to smile against his when he whispered his endearments against them. Deaton had been polite to turn away when they took the moment to let it sink in and he swore if he wasn't in a room with two people he would be crying. Stiles was saving that for later. His abdomen was cleaned when he took the paper towels to wipe it away. 

“Everything is looking okay, babies vitals are looking good, heartbeat, lungs, and so on, so forth,” Deaton said when he handed them a scan photo. “Free of charge.”

Stiles huffed out a laugh when he looked over it and smiled handing it to Derek. “Thanks, Deaton, really. I don't know what we'd do without you.”

“He's getting sentimental,” Derek muttered pushing a hand against his lower back when they walked out and he gaped striking his arm. 

“I was being nice.”

“Surprised you're not crying.”

“So am I, come on, let's go home and tell the others about our baby boy,” he whispered with a grin when they stepped outside. His lips were invaded when he was kissed hard and a thumb stroked his cheek softly. 

“Is it wrong I'm starting to get excited?” he whispered.

“No,” Derek admitted shaking his head. “So am I.”

“We're going to be a family.”

“Yeah...” he murmured in wonder kissing him sweetly before they parted to get into the car. Stiles' stomach was a knot of butterflies when he stared down at the scan photo feeling anxious when he bounced his leg. The whole pack was at home waiting for them when they drove up the lane to get back. 

“We ready?” Stiles murmured when they arrived parking and he unbuckled meeting his eyes. Derek nodded once when they got out and walked up the house to open the door and blink in surprise to see the pack gathered there.

“Jesus...you guys are desperate.”

“Well?” Jackson demanded. “Come on, you've had us here waiting like fucking ducks.”

“Ducks?”

“Stilinski!”

“Fuck, fine,” he muttered bringing the scan out when he leaned back into Derek who appeared wrapping his arms around his waist. “Here we have little baby Hale, the little baby is healthy, has a beating heart, healthy lungs, a good weight, and doing fine. Now baby Hale here is a special one...”

“He's half and half?” Erica piped up ducking out of the way when Boyd went to punch her arm. “What? Oh just tell us the sex!” 

“Well we're going to have to paint the nursery and we're not going to be stereotypical and I refuse to paint with blue...” he murmured trailing off when Lydia gasped clapping her hands. 

“Knew it! You owe me twenty each,” she said spinning to Isaac, Scott, and Jackson who looked pissed but happy when they reached for their wallets.

“You made a bet against the sex?!” he demanded when money was switched over by everyone. 

“Yeah, it was fun,” Allison said pocketing the money she had. “I had a feeling it was a boy.” 

Stiles scoffed handing Jackson the scan when he demanded it holding out his hand. “Watch out, Lyds, I think Jackson is getting broody.”

“Hell no...” she mumbled fixating her eyes on him when he walked away from the rest of the group looking at the scan picture. 

“You thought of any names?” Isaac questioned.

“No, not yet,” Derek answered for him when he placed a gentle kiss into his hair before leaving and heading into the kitchen. 

“Day at a time, I'm seventeen weeks, got many more to go.”

“Five months left,” Scott said fighting Jackson when he snatched the scan photo. 

“Doesn't seem a lot when you think about it,” Erica said from the kitchen when she grabbed a soda and popped it open. 

“Yeah but we have Christmas and New Year to get over with first.”

“God...I hate Christmas,” Erica groaned flopping down on the sofa. 

Stiles hummed feeling the same when he thought about it and joined Erica on the sofa when they settled together to watch television. He was in no mood for the festive season and it seemed like he wasn't the only one who felt that way. He was grateful when Derek joined him and he turned pressing his cheek to his shoulder when they watched it together. 

It was only when they went up to bed and locked the door behind him was when they could truly be together. Stiles laid on his back watching him amused when he kissed the bump, his lips mouthing against the skin before he whispered into it.

“Hello baby boy,” he murmured. “I can't wait to meet you.”

It struck something in him when he pressed his lips together tight, his eyes raising to the cream of the ceiling when tears pricked and he felt that hot burn in the back of his throat. The long awaited tears had arrived when he sniffed deeply hating them and hating how emotional he was. 

“Stiles?”

“You're going to be a great dad,” he murmured when he looked down at him. “I'm just sorry you weren't aloud to do this sooner.” 

Derek's eyes narrowed when he took that in, his eyes clouding with pain and sympathy when he moved down towards him. His fingers brushed against his jaw gently when he searched his eyes and face with question. Stiles couldn't hold back the small sob when he squeezed his eyes shut. 

“Stiles, hey, look at me, I thought we were past this...”

“I know, I'm just emotional and hormonal and everything is...” he mumbled making a mad gesture with his hand. “I'm just thinking about the other and how – how we didn't even know who they were. The sex...we could have had another boy or even a girl and we'll never know!” 

“I know, I know, Stiles, but looking into the past does nothing...who taught me that?” he whispered brushing away his tears when he whimpered pressing the arch of his hands into his eyes. “You did, you're...you're incredible and I know how you're feeling because I feel it too but...we have to think about this one. The one who is alive and healthy and growing every second. But it doesn't mean we'll forget the first, how could we?” 

Stiles sucked in a shaky breath when he blinked the tears hard, the moisture coating his eyes so he couldn't see, and his nose runny when he sniffed deeply. 

“I know, fuck, I know,” he whispered with a small sad smile. “I just hate it.”

“I know.” 

“I'm sorry.”

“You say sorry one more time and you're sleeping on the couch.”

“Rude,” he mumbled brushing the tears off his cheeks. “Do you know what I really want?”

“What?”

“Chicken and pickles...with a side of vanilla milkshake...and chocolate,” he said softly watching his eyes widen at the list before he sighed deeply, his head turning away when he contemplated it. “I'll blow you if you get me them?”

“Oh how tempting,” Derek snorted. 

“I'll give you one that makes you see stars and you just fucking howl the house down,” he whispered laughing when he rolled his eyes shoving his shoulder gently when he got out of the bed. “Oh we have a deal ladies and gents!” 

“Just...stop being sad, we're going to be parents...even if we were only parents for ten weeks last time,” he murmured kissing his forehead so his eyes closed and he swallowed back the tears. “This time is different.”

Derek left before his eyes opened and by the time the front door was closed Scott had joined him. He was silent when he climbed onto the other side of the bed and laid down next to him. Stiles knew why he was here when he turned towards him meeting his eyes and knew he wanted to be there and supportive. 

“Aren't you supposed to be home?”

“No.” 

Stiles smiled weakly when he closed his eyes drinking in Scott's warmth and scent as well. It felt nice to know he was there and being supportive when he waited for Derek to return. His stomach rumbled occasionally reminding him how hungry he was. It was a good twenty five minutes before Derek returned and Scott left patting his arm before he exited. 

“It smells like Scott in here.”

“He lied down with me when you went,” he said sitting up and crossing his legs to eat it. His hands took everything when he hummed in delight opening his jar of pickles. “I will reek this bedroom out. I am more than prepared to let you sleep downstairs.”

“It's fine,” Derek said popping open the window to let the cold air in. “You make crumbs, you clean them up, no matter what.”

“So authoritative,” he whispered winking at him. “I like it. Where's the handcuffs?”

“We're not using them again till you're not pregnant.”

“Spoilsport.” 

Stiles continued eating when he ate everything apart from all of the pickles till he was stuffed and felt fatter than ever when he got out of the bed. He brushed his teeth and splashed his face with water before returning to Derek feeling refresher and no longer reeking of pickle juice and chicken. 

That night sleep was easier than most and so were the days. It felt more comfortable knowing what he was finally carrying and his chest was like a warm glow when he thought about it. It was a feeling he couldn't explain in words when he shown his dad and the pride he saw there was enough to make him want to cry all over again. It was nauseating. Stiles was just looking forward to the end, he wanted him in his arms, and he wanted to know he was okay there. 

It was halfway through his eighteenth week when he was making pasta for the others and he was stirring the pot that he felt it. The odd flutter in his stomach the past couple of days caught his attention but not enough for him to make a fuss. It was only for him to feel in the end, a small satisfaction. The others were in the living area talking and discussing their day, bickering, and heated discussions were heard when he listened closely. 

It was only when he felt a soft tickle inside of him, a soft thud like a kick, and his heart thudded harder when he realized. The spoon in his hand falling to the side and clattering to the floor leaving a sauce splatter on the cabinets and floor. 

“Stiles? You okay?” Scott demanded entering his vision when he appeared with the others who all looked concerned and confused. Derek was the only one who mattered when he shoved Scott aside to capture his face between his hands forcing him to look at him.

“Stiles, talk to me, what is it?”

“I...” he murmured not knowing how to talk and now that was something. His hand reached up for the one cupping his face when he brought it down to his stomach. He knew Derek was confused when he stared at him and down at his bump not quite taking it in when he waited and Stiles smiled when the baby did it again. It was soft, like a muscle twitching, or a light flick inside of you. 

“He kicked,” he whispered in awe. 

“Yeah, that's why there is tomato sauce covering the cabinets,” he whispered in reply. “He kicked me. I've been feeling little flutters past couple of days but...oh there he is.” 

“I want to feel,” Scott injected holding up a hand and looking hopeful when he looked between them. 

“If he allows it,” Stiles said pointing at the bump. “He could have his father's temper, not mine.” 

Everyone took a turn when he felt like a fondling machine when everyone approached him and it seemed like the baby knew this was happening. The kicks were gentle for now like he was wriggling and showing off. 

“You scared the shit out of me for one moment there,” Lydia muttered in a dark voice slapping his shoulder so he mouthed 'sorry' when she went by. 

They were alone in the kitchen with the water bubbling the pasta in the background when kisses were peppered against his lips softly. There was a joy he knew that was bubbling inside of Derek when he pressed his hands against his chest knowing how happy he was but underneath that there was something else. His eyes bored into his when he searched the depths and saw the fear. 

“I know you're happy and it terrifies you.”

“It always goes wrong.” 

“I know,” Stiles admitted honestly. “But sometimes – just sometimes something beautiful comes along and we don't realize it for sometime.”

“Yeah...like you.” 

Stiles could feel his cheeks flood with heat when he smiled staring at his collarbones before meeting his eyes. “Yeah, maybe, but this is our time to be happy, Derek. No more...miscarriages, no more losing the people we love. No more.” 

“No more,” Derek repeated softly, a tender edge to his voice so Stiles nodded pressing his lips to the corner of his mouth. The bump pressing into his Derek's stomach like a constant reminder of what was in between them. The soft flutter and thud of a kick was enough to make him smile when Derek felt it too and the happiness lit in his eyes. He had never looked more beautiful in his entire life and Stiles wanted to see more of it. 

That was just the start really. With his bump becoming more and more obvious by the day he was forced to stay off work to rest and rest meant turning the spare bedroom into a nursery. It was the nursery meant for their first baby but circumstances happened and the room was left abandoned. His hand brushed against the white of the door before he brushed it open and stepped inside. It contained nothing but wooden floorboards when he opened the white blind to look outside. The trees going bare by the day when the leaves blew off and he stared around at the white walls knowing he had a job on his hands. 

This was his baby's nursery though and he wasn't about to leave it to someone else to paint. 

“It looks like it's just you and me painting this, well more me, you can kick and steal all my food,” he murmured patting the bump gently. “Your papa is ordering the furniture, your stroller, your cot, your moses basket, your carrycot, your car seat, and Lydia is getting all those clothes. I would argue with her but afraid she might claw my eyes out. You're going to be the most stylish baby I know in Beacon Hills...” 

It was shopping with Scott, Isaac, and surprisingly Jackson when he hid his bump with a large coat and they braved the winter air heading into town. The paint would be a light gray to coat the walls, dark gray curtains to replace the blinds in the room, pictures to go on the walls along with the shelves. Plush toys and teddy bears were thrown in and he couldn't not feel a little overwhelmed by it all. It felt so real and too scary and while he was excited and hoping that small prickle in the back of his mind constantly reminded him. 

Stiles distracted himself though when he dressed in his clothes that he didn't mind getting wet with paint and set about doing it. The others helped of course, mainly being Scott, Allison, and Lydia who helped him paint the walls till they all done. It was tiring and often left him exhausted at night when he slept a good eight to ten hours before waking up prepared for another day. Derek was having none of it though one day when he forced him to stay in bed and Stiles was kept entertained by Derek talking to their very much awake son. 

“Hello,” he whispered against the bump. Stiles chuckled when the baby responded kicking the spot where his mouth was pressed against. 

“He's doing aerobatics in there because of you, knows it's you talking to him. I swear he loves the sound of your voice.”

“Knows his papa is around,” he murmured stroking a hand over it gently. “Are you kicking your daddy too hard?” 

“Yes,” Stiles agreed wincing when an elbow to his ribs occurred. “He's a little terror already.”

“Well he'd get that from you.”

“Rude! I'm a pleasure,” he mumbled running his fingers through his hair gently. 

“He's not,” Derek whispered against the bump, his eyes tightening when he pulled on his hair a little in protest.

“You're not allowed to say that to our child.”

“Stiles, he probably has no idea what we're talking about right now.”

“I know but still...” 

“Fine, he's amazing, no words can properly describe him, but I know you're going to love him so much because he loves you the universe and back. You're coming into a crazy world but a world were you will be so loved by not just me and him but a whole pack of us. We're waiting just for you,” Derek whispered, his lips turning up at the corners when he kicked for him in response. 

It had to be the most honest speech he had ever heard from him and he knew the baby was too blame for bringing the emotional side out of him. Stiles felt like crying big tears when he pulled him closer to him and kissed him hard. It wasn't enough to convey everything he was feeling in that single moment when he stared up at him, his hands trailing down his chest and stomach slowly. It never would.

~*~

Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the New Year had been awfully packed and hectic amongst everyone when they had to celebrate it. Stiles would have rather let it sink in the background but with other people it was compromise. In the end though it turned out to be really good with his gifts mainly for himself and for the baby when he received DVD's,books, baby clothes, and various other items which made Christmas special in different ways. 

He was slowly bigger by the months and by the new year, it was a new start, and this year was there's to bring in a new baby. It didn't mean the drama didn't end though when it was the fourth day in the new year that he was lying with his head in Derek's lap. He felt playfully amused watching the plastic cup he had placed on his bump move with every kick the baby made. 

It was when it fell over and clattered to the floor that they heard it. It was a long howl, drawn out, and a need to be heard when everyone in the room stiffened. 

“Coyote?” Isaac muttered but the self doubt was there when Stiles sat up meeting Derek's eyes. 

“You stay here,” he ordered pointing a finger at him so he felt like an insolent child. 

“But...”

“I mean it, do not follow me,” he warned in an authoritative voice that left his blood boiling in anger and defiance when he nodded stiffly watching as the others ran out. They left behind Allison and Lydia who sat by him. 

“Great, just great,” he muttered gripping Allison's knee when he pushed up. “Just what I need in my final months...fucking werewolves.” 

“It could be nothing.”

“It's always something!” he hissed stepping towards the window. “For months...nothing. Not a whisper, not a sound, and now in the new year we have a rogue werewolf entering the territory. It's always something.” 

“Come on, come sit down,” Lydia instructed gripping his arm and pulling him back down when they sat and he exhaled heavily. His eyes closed tight when he tried to breathe in and out, his body hurting in a way to leave him rubbing the side of his bump with a wince. It wasn't like this was the first time for the odd ache and pain to affect him. 

It had been in his twenty fifth week that he was struck with a blinding pain that terrified not just him but everyone when they rushed him to Deaton. It had been nothing serious after an examination but he was under strict instructions to take it easy. Derek was still making sure this was happening.

Stiles was deadly impatient when he waited for Derek to return when he couldn't stand sitting down any more and paced. His relief actually hurt him when each one of them returned and his arms wrapped around Derek's neck when he finally got home. 

“What was it?” 

“Rogue,” Jackson spat kicking the side of the coach irritated. “We lost the scent, it's now raining, washes it away.” 

“So you mean there's some psycho rogue wandering around out there?” he demanded staring at Derek who nodded once when he caressed his sides gently. “He or she could kill someone! It's dangerous!”

“They're gone, Stiles,” Scott said gently.

“Bullshit!” 

“Stiles,” Derek murmured catching his attention. “It's fine. We'll catch them if they come back.”

“Oh yeah?” Stiles scoffed doubting that when he shoved out of his arms heading upstairs. The anger had come out of nowhere but he was angry and afraid when he sat down heavily on the bed wanting to get out there. He wanted to hunt it down, make it go away, and he didn't need the stress of it all. His eyes were drawn to the window when he walked over staring out at the rain hitting the floor and he wished he could go out there. 

There would be no way in hell that he could without being followed and stopped. Derek's over protectiveness wasn't something to be questioned or messed with and not when he was so pregnant like this. Stiles ended up getting under the covers needing a nap when he settled to pushing his head under the pillow instead. 

It was only after the day ended that the next morning Scott and Derek went out to see if they could find a fresh trail and found nothing. It did nothing for Stiles who couldn't take that as an answer. There was a discomfort in the base of his spine when he thought about it and he couldn't rest easy. His mind was all over the place, he couldn't take his ADHD medication to help it, and nothing helped.

“You need to relax,” Derek whispered into his shoulder on the third night. “It was just someone passing through, maybe a warning to us that the scent left behind was him, but now he's gone. They're gone, Stiles, no is dead, we're fine.”

“Yeah...” Stiles whispered resting a hand on the bump feeling the baby kick. “Probably.”

Stiles let himself relax though like Derek wanted when he complied a shopping list prepared to go out a couple of days later.

“Don't you even dare argue with me,” Stiles warned when Derek scowled. “I am going out and being normal...whilst wearing a big coat because people will stare otherwise. I want to do this and it's the store, okay? Stop freaking out.”

“I'm not freaking out.”

“Anyway you have to fix the washer before Erica has a mental breakdown so do it.” 

“Be careful.”

“Sir yes sir,” he cried saluting him before he headed out. The air was cold when he breathed it in deeply heading to the car and felt glad to be finally out of the house. It was consuming being there and unable to do anything else but watch television or sleep. Stiles blasted the radio when he drummed his fingers and had to be glad that he could still fit behind the wheel. 

The store for the first time in his life was a welcoming sight when he finally arrived parking. He patted his pocket feeling his cell and wallet there before getting out. The baby kicked him a little too hard for comfort when he winced rubbing over his coat and headed inside. The place was semi busy surprisingly enough and he grabbed a basket. Stiles was in his own world when he wandered up and down the aisles throwing in the odd bit of food he could find. It was loaded with goodies he knew the others would steal if they had the chance. It was best to keep it all a secret. 

Stiles wasn't paying attention and jumped out of his skin when he bumped into someone hard enough for him to be knocked aside. His eyes took in the tall guy with surprise, his hair long enough to brush his shoulders and dirty blonde, his eyes brown when they searched his face.

“Oh shit! Sorry,”he explained before moving on and grimacing more to himself when he focused. “Concentrate, Stiles!” 

He got the rest of his goods before heading to the checkout and busied himself with getting the money out whilst it was packaged up. Stiles flashed a quick smile at the checkout girl before picking up the grocery bag and walking out. It may have been a brief visit but it was enough to get out of the house. 

“Oof,” he murmured when the baby kicked again. “Okay baby, we're getting home now.” 

Stiles slammed the door behind him hard when he got in, his hand pushing the key into the ignition to get out of there. The journey wasn't long when he focused on the road wandering if they had hot chocolate in the house when he heard it. His heart pounded a little when he switched the radio off listening to the howl. It didn't belong to anyone of the pack, he knew there's far too well, and it was enough for him to panic when he gripped the steering wheel tight. His foot pressed the pedal down a little harder, his eyes flicking to the rear view mirror, and it was instinct to know it was following him. 

His confirmation was the hunched beast he could see chasing the car, the flash of blue in the darkening sky around them. The crash into his car caught him off guard when he swore loudly swerving, his wheels screeching a little on impact. His own self protectiveness and the fact he was now one hundred per cent pissed when the impact shuddered the car. His window caved breaking in, glass spraying onto the back seat, one shard catching his cheek so it cut. It hurt enough for him to hiss and turn hard when he turned the car to the side hard letting it stop when he scrambled for the hidden gun under the seat. 

It was Allison who handed it to him months ago, bullets laced with wolfsbane, and he knew she had given it to him for situations like this. Stiles opened the door jumping out when he spun on the road forever thankful for the training his dad, Allison, and even Derek had given him when he zeroed in on the snarling rogue in the woods. 

There was no time to think or speak when he fired the first shots. His back hit the car hard when it launched towards him snarling furiously but practice makes perfect when each shot lodged themselves into the omega. Two bullets to each leg, one to the arm, and one in the chest to finally make him collapse at his feet twitching and howling in pain when he breathed. Stiles' hands were shaking when he pulled out his cell walking away and looking up and down the empty road. It was only when he brought the cell phone to his ear that he heard branches breaking in the trees.

“STILES!” 

It was Scott's voice mistakenly when he exhaled shakily. “Here!” 

Derek didn't even have to be called when he appeared wolfed out, they all did, it looked like they all heard the rogue's howl. What a mistake to make. Stiles felt near enough to collapse when Derek was at his side instantly, his hands cupping his neck and face with care. His fingers touching the bloody cut on his face so he winced in pain and Derek snarled angrily glaring at the omega.

“You okay?” Scott whispered frantically.

“Fine,” he whispered pressing the gun into Scott's hand. 

“Well, well, well, look what we have here, ladies and gentlemen,” Erica purred kicking the rogue over. “We've been looking for you, you been keeping a low profile? Bit of a big mistake to chase the mate of an alpha.”

“Not just a mate...a pregnant one,” he pointed out so she grinned and pressed her foot into his throat so he gagged. 

“I want you to go back home, Isaac!” Derek snapped to Isaac who appeared instantly. 

“Whoa, I'm fine, look,” he said gesturing at himself dramatically. “Pregnant and took out a full on werewolf! I'm better than okay! My heart may not agree though and I feel a little sweaty...but otherwise we're great. Me and baby boy...we so need a name...”

“You're rambling, get him home. I'll take care of this,” he said directly to Isaac who nodded once. “Go, I'll see you in a bit.”

“My Jeep...”

“I'll take care of it, go,” Derek whispered kissing him tenderly so he swallowed agreeing when he let Isaac lead the way back to the house. 

The adrenaline thrumming through his veins was still going when he walked through the woods with Isaac. 

“That was pretty awesome,” Isaac injected catching him off guard when he looked at him and away with a small smile. 

“I think so too...” 

The house had never looked so good though when he walked through inhaling the smell of home before shrugging the coat off. His legs and hands felt a little weird when he sat down on the sofa, his hand caressing over the bump, his hand feeling the baby kick and move inside of him. Stiles closed his eyes forever thankful he was okay and still moving around inside. Isaac walked in holding a glass of water that he took gratefully when he swallowed it down, his throat working when he gulped it till it was gone, and he breathed hard.

“Fuck...I can't believe that just happened.”

“You took care of the bad guy.”

“I knew, I had a feeling it wasn't over, but then I let it down...the guard...we all did. We over estimated.” 

Stiles leaned back shutting his eyes when he waited for the pack's return. It didn't take long as he thought when Boyd walked in followed by the others. 

“Where's the rogue?”

“Dead,” Erica answered. “We got our answers and Derek tore his throat out.”

“Oh,” Stiles whispered with a nod. “What answers were those?”

“Not enough,” Derek spat angrily, his eyes still a burning red when he drew him closer to him and buried his nose and mouth into his hair. 

“You did awesome though, my gun was helpful then?” Allison said with a small smile for him when she propped her arrows and bows against the wall. 

“Yeah, it was...instinct,” he explained with a shrug. “Hey, we're fine, see? No one messes with me or my pack.”

Stiles grabbed his hand pressing it to where the baby was kicking. Derek still didn't seem satisfied when he held him closer to him despite the bump between them. Eventually all of them settled in the living area and he was able to tell the full story to them and he got the parts he missed out on. The man was a rogue omega and from his description when he had shifted back, it seemed it was the strange guy he bumped into at the store. It was enough to catch his scent. His scent had entranced him to follow and the wolf took over when he gave chase with the full intent to slaughter and kill him. 

The shiver that ran down his spine was out of fear and relief at him being finally dead. 

“I was scared,” Derek admitted when they stood in the kitchen away from the others. “You were gone and...I heard that howl...and – and I was scared.”

“I never wanted to scare you.”

“You always do.”

“I'm sorry,” he whispered linking his arms around his neck. “We're fine though.”

“I could have lost you both, by letting you go just like that, and I could have lost everything. You – you have no idea, Stiles...”

“Not everything,” Stiles whispered glancing towards the living area. 

“It's – It's not the same. You're different, so different, and I can't live without you.”

“What and I can?”

“No but if something happened to you and I lost you...”

“Don't think like that,” Stiles pleaded hating the sorrow and pain laced into his features, his hands tight on his hips when he pressed his forehead against his.

“I will always come for you, I won't let anyone hurt you.” 

The sincerity of his words was enough to hurt his chest when he nodded slowly, his eyes shutting, and he nodded truly believing it. He could never doubt Derek. 

~*~

Stiles was miserably happy. He was in the third trimester and while he was happy to finally get there after all the days, weeks, and months of waiting. It was tiring, very tiring, and his body ached to the point of wanting to pass out. His lower back protested half of the time along with his feet, the back of his knees, his insides and everything was suffering. The brush of spring was coming along when it crept into the winter bit by bit. The sun warming the day just slightly when he stepped on the porch occasionally breathing in the cool air. 

Everything was ready for the arrival, the clothes bought, and the furniture built. It had been quite the experience to watch a bunch of werewolves attempt to fit a cot together and fail so dramatically. Derek had to leave halfway through to breathe and attempt not to smash it all into pieces. It was finally done though and Stiles was so in love. It was perfect and he found himself sitting in there half the time when he looked around the once empty room. It was the perfect nursery. 

Stiles had been thirty two weeks when they finally decided on a name. It hadn't been the best experience when a load of names were thrown out and dismissed for being too common, too awful, or too weird. 

“Kaiden?” Stiles said one morning when they had a morning lie in. “Jack for their middle name, you know...after your dad of course.” 

“Kaiden,” Derek repeated testing it out. “It's not as bad as Rex.”

“That was not bad!”

“Rex? It's something you call your dog, Stiles, as well as Alfie!” 

“Well it's not as bad as fucking Bernard! I will not call my son Bernie!” he cried holding up a hand and pushing it into his face. 

“Kaiden though...that's nice, unusual, not very common,” Derek said pushing his hand away so he laughed softly. “So we've decided?”

“Kaiden,” he whispered patting the bump. “What do you think? I think he's asleep. He was up kicking me half the night.”

“He had the hiccups,” Derek murmured kissing the top. “It's you drinking that soda.”

“Sue me.” 

“He will when he comes out,” he whispered nuzzling it so Stiles rolled his eyes playfully and let him have it. 

That was then and now he was thirty eight weeks and he was miserable. Stiles groaned when he laid against the headboard pouting and playing on his DS. For now he was only quite comfortable when he played to distract himself and scowled when the door opened. 

“How you feeling?” Derek questioned softly. 

“Like I need to shit out a bowling ball, how do you think I feel?”

“Grumpy.”

“This is your fault.”

“It has been for a few days now,” Derek replied raising his eyebrows when he joined him on the bed. “Stiles, you know it could be any day now, next week, or even the week after. He'll be here soon.”

“I want him now.”

“I know,” he murmured gently meeting his eyes. Stiles knew not to press it and knew when it would happen he would very much know about it. It was like everyone was on red alert though when they hovered around him half anxious and half impatient. It irritated the hell out of him and he found himself snapping at them most of the time. 

“You're huge.”

“Fat,” Stiles corrected eying Jackson who shrugged. “Thanks though...just what I needed to hear.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Like I want to kill someone.”

“Welcome to the club.”

Stiles rolled his eyes when he rested his arms on the back of the couch. “My waters can't even break! I'll only know when the real contractions start, not these...stupid fake ones.”

“Braxton Hicks,” Lydia corrected him when she walked into the room.

“Yeah...those little shits...”

“It'll happen soon.”

“You got a wager on?” he said raising an eyebrow at the both of them. 

“Not yet,” Lydia admitted honestly. “You want in?”

“Yeah, I want in,” he said without care. 

Stiles had no idea when it was going to happen but he prayed it was sooner rather than later. Everyone in the end had their ideas on when he would be due but the only person who refused of course was Derek. Derek was adamant he'd wait it out but had a feeling it would be soon. 

The lack of sleep and control over his bladder and eating was becoming tiresome day by day and by the time he reached his twenty ninth week he was ready to give up. Stiles was resting on the couch when he was laid out with the whole pack there when they watched television. 

“Fuck,” Stiles murmured when his bladder called for attention and he swore under his breath attempting to get up. Derek helped him to his feet when he pressed a hand to his lower back and groaned when a ripple of pain shot through him. 

“Fuck!” he swore catching everyone's attention.

“Stiles?”

“No, no, it's okay, I just need to pee,” he mumbled practically waddling when he walked out and headed upstairs. He breathed out through his mouth slowly when he climbed the stairs and headed into the bathroom. It felt too good to finally relieve himself when he pissed and shook flushing the drain. It was when he was washing his hands it happened again, more sharper, a kind of nauseating pain that left him panting harshly. 

“Derek!” he shouted clenching the side of the bath hearing his footsteps. 

“It's time?”

“It's time,” he whispered with a nod and a hard swallow. It was so awaited, so longed for, and now that it was here the panic, the excitement, and most of all the fear swirled inside of him. Derek took his hands into his when his lips pressed against his forehead in a sort of desperate kiss that seemed to calm him down slowly. 

“Let's go become parents,” he whispered cupping the side of his neck so Stiles half laughed half sobbed when he nodded frantically.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND IT'S DONE. 
> 
> I enjoyed writing this as heartbreaking as it was in the first two chapters.
> 
> Thank you for reading, commenting, and leaving kudos. I apologise for any mistakes.

Stiles had been waiting for this for nine months or even longer than that if he counted the first time and he was ultimately scared. His hand was gripped tight into Derek's when he drove them to Deaton's and he squeezed it tight knowing he couldn't hurt him. There was a reassurance shining in his eyes that he needed when the pain shot through his body wanting to be known. The prospect of being a father once and for all was coming to him faster than he thought and he couldn't stop feeling so afraid. Derek helped him out of the car when they arrived and he breathed through his teeth wanting it to be over or to have a load of drugs. 

Deaton was there and waiting for him when they got in and he was even more surprised to see Melissa there.

“Before you say anything, this is a child, I trust Alan to be able to perform this but what happens after? That's my job,” she explained when she linked his other arm and helped him into the room.

Stiles gaped taking in the room. “Did you rob the hospital?!”

“Borrowed, borrowed with the intent of giving back. They won't miss it, you need them, here,” she handing him a hospital gown. “Let's not get blood and water on your clothes.”

“What?” he breathed staring at Derek with wide eyes so he shook his head once and kissed his forehead. “This is – this is...”

“I know,” she said meeting his eyes. “You in a lot of pain?”

“Like someone is stabbing me over and over and over again. I need him out of me,” he hissed clutching Derek's hand tight when a contraction hit and he groaned wanting to curl up. “Deaton!”

“Come on, up on the table.”

Stiles lay his head on the pillow placed under him when Melissa and Deaton got him ready. He was glad for the prick in his arm when an IV was slipped there and the drugs started to flood into his system. Derek knelt down by his head when he pressed a cold compress to his head.

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to be supportive?”

“Sweet,” Stiles snorted tugging it away. “But I'm in a way about to give birth, I'll lie here while they slice me open and get Kaiden out of me so he'll scream and cry and the next eighteen years of our lives are consumed.” 

“You're rambling,” Derek murmured cupping his jaw. 

“This is scary.”

“Yeah,” he agreed so they both turned their head to see the blue curtain put up in front of him. “But in about twenty minutes we're going to have a baby here who we've been waiting for.”

“I think you're going to be amazing.”

“No, I think we're going to be amazing.”

Stiles felt his lips tug into a small smile when he nodded and blinked to stare at the ceiling feeling numb and lightheaded while he waited. It was weird to feel the dull pressure of the knife slicing into him and unable to feel the pain that should have gone alongside it. His eyes drifted to where his hand was locked with Derek's and he squeezed it gently. 

“The pack here?”

“Waiting room, refuse to leave.”

Stiles snorted softly wincing when he felt the waters practically exploding over him when Deaton popped the sac. “That is the weirdest thing.”

“More weird than giving birth?” Melissa questioned.

“I am used to weird, weird revolves around me, this? It's nothing, it's actually sort of awesome at the same time.” 

Stiles wasn't prepared for the sounds of his baby crying for the very first time when he heard his wails echoing around the small room. His heart beat a little faster when he bit his lip and glanced up at Derek who wasn't looking at him but at Kaiden. It was hard to see but he could see the pink wriggling baby in his hands covered in blood and mucus.

“Derek, do you want to cut the cord?”

His hand was shaking a little when he gulped nodding and stepped forward to grab the scissors she was holding out. It was cut separating them for the first and last time when he watched in awe as Melissa took Kaiden away to be cleaned and looked at. The tears that wanted to betray him lingered so he squeezed them shut feeling the slow track of them down his cheeks.

“Oh god, he's here,” he whispered swallowing hard. Derek leaned in cutting off his speech when he kissed him hard, his whimper escaping his lips when he fisted his shirt keeping him in place. “Is he okay?”

“He's fine, healthy even, that being the correct word. For another...I'd say he was perfect,” Melissa said with a smile when they parted and he opened his mouth wordlessly when she carefully placed him into his arms. The same shape of brown eyes he seen in the mirror daily stared up at him when he blinked becoming aware of the world. The fuzz of dark hair stuck up fluffy around his head when he touched it carefully with reverence.

“So you're the one who's been kicking at me at three in the morning and making me crave bananas and strawberry jam,” he murmured in a cracked voice stroking his cheek. “Hello Kaiden, welcome to the crazy world.”

He was stitched back up by Deaton and he was already hating the weeks of healing in front of him. It was going to be painful and he didn't want to be lounging in bed all hours of the day. Kaiden's hand was tight around his finger when he gave it to him and smiled at the strength he had already when he stared up at him. His bonding time was cut short when Melissa took him away to be poked and prodded and weighed. 

“He's so beautiful,” Stiles whispered swallowing the lump in his throat. “He looks like you.”

“What? He's all you,” he murmured. “Apart from the hair.” 

“No.”

Stiles was having none of it when he kissed him softly, lingering till there was an uncomfortable cough from Deaton that drew them apart. He was stitched up and feeling tired and slightly nauseous when he felt the urge to sleep. 

“He's a healthy seven pounds and six ounces,” Melissa said coming over finally with Kaiden wrapped up in a blanket and a hat and passing him to Derek. “How you feeling, Stiles?”

“Well this table is uncomfortable, I'm still numb, I feel a little sick, and I want sleep but cuddle my baby till my arms are dead. It's a lot of emotions all at once.” 

“You need to rest, your body has been through a lot. It's not the best place to rest but until this wears off,” she said tapping his leg. “We can't move you. You can try sleep while Derek feeds Kaiden.”

Stiles hummed agreeing with that when he looked at Derek who was rocking a distressed Kaiden when he wailed hungrily. 

“Sounds awesome. Naps are awesome, but can I have like a blanket or something?”

Melissa squeezed his knee looking to Deaton who nodded heading to the back room. “I'll get a bottle ready for him.”

“Thanks, Melissa.”

He winced in pain when he shuffled getting comfortable keeping his eyes on Derek when he came over to him. 

“You take first feed.”

“You sure?”

“More than sure, just give him his first taste of milk, and get him to sleep. Let the pack hold him and call my dad to tell him his grandson is here. I need a serious nap and food...lots of food afterward,” he said pecking his lips when he leaned in and stroking Kaiden's cheek when he snuffled pink faced. 

“Fine, sleep, I'll see you in a couple of hours,” he whispered pulling back and moving away to get his bottle before a newborn tantrum screamed the place down. 

Deaton returned with blankets and pillows he found for him when he helped him get comfortable enough for sleep. Sleep was uneasy and strange when he dreamed of Kaiden, losing him, finding him only for him not to be his baby and someone else. Stiles woke up in pain and confused when he blinked looking around the room and touched his sore stomach with a hiss.

“Derek?” he rasped out squinting when the door opened letting the light flood into the semi lit room. 

“Here, what is it?” he said touching his arm when he continued to look around the room. 

“Nothing, where's Kaiden?”

“Erica has him, they're all having a bonding time of twenty minutes each.” 

“I'm never going to see him again.”

“How are you feeling now?”

“Like shit,” he admitted honestly. “You got any water? Possibly any morphine as well?”

Derek helped him up handing him a paper cup of water which he sipped gently. Stiles listened closely listening to the pack outside talking in hushed voices and felt glad to have them here with them. Derek wound his arms around his waist, his chin resting over his shoulder when he held him close. 

“I am so proud of you.”

“What for lying on a table?”

“Stiles,” he scolded so he sighed and tilted his head back to look at him. 

“Okay, I know, but it was lying on a table. It was Deaton and Melissa who got him in the world.”

“Who carried him and loved him for near enough nine months? You did, I'm proud of you,” he whispered into his ear so he shivered but accepted the words of endearment for his own. 

“Erica! I want my baby or whoever has my son, I want him,” he called rubbing his pounding head waiting for whoever had him to come in to the room. Jackson to his surprise walked in holding a sleeping Kaiden when he held his arms out. 

“Feeling broody?”

“Shut it, Stilinski,” Jackson mumbled trailing his eyes over Kaiden before stalking out. “We're all going. We need to eat, we'll see you tomorrow.”

“Right,” Stiles murmured raising his eyebrows. “Jackson as a father. Think I'll be alive to see the day?”

“Yes,” he muttered staring down at Kaiden. “He's a greedy boy. He drank his bottle down. I think he has your appetite.”

“Yeah and your temper!” 

“He's been good, very good, but he should sleep a good few hours before needing his next feed and diaper change.”

He didn't know if this was parenthood but it felt good, really good, and he sighed blissfully when they settled back and got comfortable. Derek's fingers stroked his hair slowly with Kaiden between them when he slept blissfully unaware of everything. They somehow managed to get a few hours sleep between them with Kaiden waking up for a night time feed and a diaper change before it was morning. 

“Bed rest, plenty of bed rest, you're healing,” Deaton warned when he asked about finally going home. “It's going to take a good couple of months before you even feel healthy again. These stitches will have to come out and you'll scar. This isn't brand new news.”

“I figured. I just want to be able to take care of him,” he murmured looking at him curled up in his blanket fast asleep. Derek was currently gone getting his bag of clothes and the car seat to take him home. He was ready for his bed and a long sleep if Kaiden allowed him. Stiles was glad to have the pack's support behind him and Derek. Not everyone had that. 

“You will and you can. Just take it easy, pain medication, the works. Melissa will be able to answer any baby related questions. Anything supernatural, I may be able to help. Anything about animals, come to me.”

“Thanks, Deaton,” Stiles muttered with a quiet snort. Deaton left him alone when he picked up Kaiden from the bed to kiss his forehead and hold him close when they waited for Derek.

“Your papa is taking the piss,” he murmured staring down at him. “But he's like that...but he's prompt. He'll always be there...one way or another. You're going to love him and he loves you so much. So do I. You're going to see a lot of faces in the past few weeks but my face is the most important...and Derek's. Our faces are the most important and you're going to be fed up and confused and be a little baby in a scary world but I'm going to take care of you. I love you so much and I didn't think I'd ever have this. I lost – well something happened many months ago and it was painful...really painful...but I have you now and nothing will change that.” 

He knew he was rambling onto an infant who was sleeping and had no idea what he was talking about. Stiles smiled sadly nuzzling his forehead and jumping a little when a knock disturbed him. Derek stood in the doorway staring at him with soft but fond eyes when he stood up. 

“You heard all that didn't you?”

“Just the last bits. You do have him and you're always going to have him but you also have me.”

“I know but...this is a little different,” he teased when he came over and he kissed him gently. “Can we go?”

“Yeah,” he said holding up the car seat and placing it on the side. “Is he ready? Get dressed.”

Stiles dressed slowly but painfully before helping Derek get Kaiden in and headed out there. It was a long and quite painful journey back when he was painfully aware of his stitches and hated it. Kaiden slept peacefully till they were home and seemed to sense the moment they got into the house. 

“Oh someone's awake!” Erica cried loudly from upstairs when she hurried down.

“I'll do the bottle,” Isaac shouted helpfully from the kitchen.

“Can I hold him?”

“No, Erica, I am barely in the house and I have to climb a flight of stairs to get in bed and rest and you're being annoying...already,” he argued lifting the car seat to take him upstairs. 

“Now that's just rude.”

Stiles rolled his eyes when he got in the bedroom and lifted the seat on the bed. “Okay grumpy pants, you have your papa's lungs. Your milk is coming.”

His hand rubbed his back gently when he consoled him till Isaac arrived with the milk. “Now see this why you're secretly awesome.”

“Secretly?”

“Yep,” Stiles said brightly easing Kaiden into the crook of his arm to ease the teat into his mouth. “Thank you, Isaac.” 

“Oh my god, you're guzzling this down. Am I starving you? I mean you made me eat everything when you were in here,” he murmured patting his stomach when he shuffled to sit against the headboard. “I need a shower. I stink.”

“You know he can't understand a word you're saying,” Scott said walking in and surprising him when he looked up and scoffed.

“He stares at me with interest! Well...I think he does. He's a day old and he's already very clever.”

“What's he done to be very clever?”

“He – he grabbed my finger and squeezed it tight!”

“Every newborn does that.”

Stiles waved a hand at him in dismal the best he could holding Kaiden and the bottle. “He's my baby, he's very clever.”

“I'm sure he is,” he murmured sitting on the bed to peek and look at him. “He's so tiny though.”

“He's seven pounds, it's healthy, and by the way he's drinking this milk he'll be huge in no time!” 

“Still tiny and a baby, you've actually had a baby, Stiles.”

“Yeah, maybe it was meant to be,” he said slowly catching his attention when Scott looked up and swallowed hard. 

“I should have never said that back then. But you were upset and back then I didn't think this would happen again.” 

Stiles raised an eyebrow at him but let it go when he took the bottle away from Kaiden who made small sounds when he rubbed his back gently. Scott caught the sick in his bib when he leaned over lifting it up for him. 

“Well it did and he's here. I think I conceived him the day you said it actually...I can't remember. It was a bit of blur.”

“I didn't need to know that.”

Stiles smirked at the disgust in his tone when he lifted Kaiden up to kiss his nose and rest him against his legs when he lifted them up. Kaiden blinked staring around when he grabbed at his fingers, Stiles took delight waving them in front of his face. 

“See, clever, he realizes they're fingers and he knows he has them as well. Genius!” he hissed to Scott who huffed rolling his eyes. “Can you get me an orange juice? I'd get it myself but I think Derek might shoot me if I move out of this bed.”

“I will,” Derek agreed walking into the room so he gestured at him and Scott agreed poking his arm hard.

“Oh, so rude,” he mumbled playing with Kaiden's hands. “Your Uncle Scott wet the bed till he was eight.”

“Hey!” Scott shouted from upstairs.

“That's mean.”

“He deserved it,” Stiles whispered kissing his hands. “Should we go see your nursery later? You won't be getting in it for a good couple of weeks but...”

“We should keep him in here till he's ready.”

“Ready?”

“Ready to sleep in his nursery on his own. We'll get the moses basket in here. It'll make it a lot easier,” Derek said joining him on the bed so he smiled at him in agreement. Derek held out his hands for Kaiden when Stiles passed him over with ease. His head ended up on his shoulder when he watched him bond with Kaiden who stared at him with wide eyes when Derek presented a blue dog. 

“I think he's made a new friend,” he murmured smirking when Derek chuckled softly. 

“We should send Jackson a gift basket.”

“How about a year worth of babysitting duty?” Derek suggested instead.

“Deal,” he murmured slapping his hand against his in hand five, his lips pressing together tightly when he heard a protesting Jackson downstairs. It was just the best feeling aside from watching Derek play with their baby. 

His eyes burnt after a while for sleep when Kaiden went down for his nap and Stiles was left in the bedroom to sleep alongside him. His sleep was disturbed by bad dreams when he woke up after an hour sleep to sit up in desperate need for pain medication. His eyes zoomed in on Kaiden sleeping a few meters away from him when he shuffled to look in on him. His heart stopped for a moment when he couldn't tell if he was breathing or not. Stiles hit the ground when he ignored the pain pressing his hand to his chest feeling it rise and fall.

“Fuck,” he hissed pulling back and breathing in and out deeply feeling a panic attack fade when he picked him up and kissed his cheek. “God.”

“Stiles,” Lydia's voice said softly from behind the door. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, fine,” he called back to her. “Just...stubbed my toe.” 

His eyes fell shut when he listened to Kaiden breathing in and out unaware of his inner panic attack and he took him to the bed with him. He knew all about cot death or sudden infant death syndrome as Lydia had called it. It terrified him as much as miscarriage did and he knew it was rare and the reasons behind it were unknown but it still made him paranoid. 

Stiles knew if he addressed it to Derek though he would be concerned for his well being so it would be best to keep it a secret from him. Sometimes secrets were for the best. He kept him in his arms when he turned the television on in the bedroom keeping it low when he watched the screen. 

“Stiles,” Scott announced knocking on the door. “Your dad's here.”

“Oh, right, yeah, send him up?” he said raising an eyebrow when the door opened and his dad already there stepped inside. 

“Hey son.”

“Hey, dad,” he said with a grimace glancing at Kaiden when he moved getting out of bed. “Derek's going to hate this, he doesn't want me moving around, but whatever. Meet your grandson. You're officially old.”

“Don't push your luck,” he warned pointing a finger at him in warning but his eyes were warm and affectionate when he looked at Kaiden. “May I?”

“Sure,” he whispered easing him into his arms before he moved to sit back down. 

“Oh he looks like you when you were a baby.”

“No he doesn't!”

“He does, I should know, Stiles,” he said frowning when he sat next to him. “How much did he weigh?”

“Seven pounds and six ounces, he's going to be a chunk with the milk he swallows down though.” 

“You were around the same, an ounce or two off but he's a good weight. I still can't believe it...”

“Believe what?”

“You, you're a father, my baby is going to take care of a baby.”

“Dad,” he whined arching his head to look at the ceiling. 

“What? You are and you always will be and it's insane!” he exclaimed shaking his head at him when they looked at him. “But I know you're going to do an amazing job.”

“What, like you?” 

“Maybe,” his dad murmured nudging his arm gently when he stared down at Kaiden and he smiled leaning back. His dad lingered for an hour until he left needing to get back to the station. Derek replaced him when he walked into the bedroom wrapping an arm around his shoulder to settle in the bed. His eyes drifted to Kaiden sleeping in his moses basket and he held down that feeling of fear. 

That fear didn't want to stay down though and in the as the days flew turning into weeks, his sleep was worse than ever. Stiles healed and got better whilst the pack and Derek helped him taking care of Kaiden who was becoming more and more aware of the world around him. Kaiden spent most of his time sleeping or eating or played games with him showing him various books and toys. 

The pack didn't notice his lack of sleep, his restfulness, his agitation, and his lack of eating but Derek did and he was pissed. 

“Stiles,” Derek snapped behind him when he was stood near the moses basket watching Kaiden sleep. “Can you come with me please?”

“Not really,” he murmured. 

He wasn't taking no for an answer when he grabbed his arm ignoring his protests so he tugged them into the nursery.

“What the hell?” he hissed slapping his chest when Derek shut the door tight and turned to face him. 

“We need to talk, I'd prefer not to argue in front of our sleeping son.”

“We're going to argue?”

“Probably, what the hell is going on with you?”

“What? Nothing!” Stiles protested sitting down in the chair heavily. 

“Stiles, I'm not stupid. I know when he sleeps, you watch him, you barely sleep at night, and the moment he wakes up you're on him immediately. You're barely eating, you've lost weight, and you're panicking about something...I don't know what but...you're making no sense to me. Tell me what's going on.”

Stiles swallowed hard when he sat down in the chair staring down at his hands. “It's – It's nothing. It's...what if...”

“What, Stiles?”

“Kaiden, I worry – I worry that,” he said trailing off unable to say it.

“What, Stiles?!” Derek repeated angrily.

“That he'll die in his sleep!” he shouted back at him. “I worry that he'll die in his sleep and don't give me that look, Derek.”

Derek huffed annoyed when he turned away rubbing a hand down his cheek roughly. “Stiles, that's insane.”

“Seriously? You're calling me insane for worrying about our son?”

“Yes,” Derek cried gesturing at him. “Worrying that he'll die? Stiles, Kaiden isn't going to die in his sleep!”

“How do you know that?! There's such a thing called cot death, Derek, yes, it's rare, but – but it happens and I got it in my head and it won't – it won't leave!” he shouted clutching at his hair turning towards the window. “It's driving me insane. Is this insanity?”

“Stiles,” Derek gritted out gripping his shoulders when he spun him around to look into his eyes. “You're not insane, you've never been insane, it's just irrational thinking.” 

“Fate is being too kind, Derek.”

“What?”

“We have our baby, he's healthy, he's active, he cries when he's hungry, and he stares at that blue dog like it's the best thing in the world. But fate – fate is too kind right now and I'm terrified, Derek, because what if I leave him alone just for a second, I walk out of a room, and he – he...” 

Stiles closed his eyes refusing to finish the sentence when he bit his inner bottom lip hard resisting the urge to cry. 

“Look at me,” Derek urged bringing him closer. “I know, okay? I know you're scared and I know why you think he's going to die in his sleep but he's not. He's so healthy and strong and he's beginning to recognize faces and he is not going to die.” 

His arms wound around his neck when he clung to him knowing he was right. “I just can't lose him.”

“You're not going to, not ever, he's not going anywhere. But you will be if you continue like this, Stiles, you need to sleep for more than four hours, you need to eat three meals a day.”

“I know but I have bad dreams, I dream he dies in my arms or I find him not breathing in his cot, and I wake up in a panic.”

“Then we move past from them, I'll be there,” Derek said softly cupping the back of his head. “Do you trust me?”

“You know I do.”

“Then trust me on this. This time...we're not going to lose our baby. Kaiden is here for keeps,” he whispered catching the tear that slid out of his eye. “Promise me you'll try and forget about this.”

“I promise.”

It was easier said than done when Stiles tried to make quick work on that when Derek directed him to the bed practically ordering him to sleep. 

“He'll be fine.”

Stiles nodded once climbing into the bed watching when Derek took a sleeping Kaiden with him out of the room. His eyes shut after he decided to ignore his brain the best he could needing the sleep and knowing Derek was right. Kaiden wasn't going anywhere despite the feeling in his gut telling him he was wrong. Kaiden was a fighter and he was prepared to stick to that. 

His promise to Derek got well under way when he slept a good seven hours before his hunger woke him up. To go downstairs and see Kaiden awake and curled up in Scott's arms when he looked in was almost too good to be true and the best feeling ever. 

~*~

The problem with having a spring baby meant that the summer was stifling for a young baby and Kaiden enjoyed making his protests known as he grew. Kaiden was seven weeks old when he decided it was time to smile when they were cooped up in the nursery, the windows were open, and a fan was on them both in the chair.

“Who's my gorgeous boy?” he cooed kissing his nose so he stared back and kicked his legs smiling at him. “Oh my god, did you smile? Are you smiling for me? Derek!”

“What?” Derek demanded appearing slightly out of breath when he stepped in.

“Kaiden smiled!” he hissed turning his attention to him. “Who's my beautiful boy? I think it's Kaiden!”

Stiles repressed the urge to whoop in joy when Kaiden smiled kicking his legs again and turning his head to Derek when he lifted him. 

“Clever boy! Scott's going to be annoyed.”

“Why?” he demanded.

“He had a bet it would be week eight.”

“What?! They need to stop betting on my child,” he mumbled standing up when Derek rested him on his shoulder. 

“Our child.”

“Sorry!”

“He smiled though.”

“I know, where's the camera?”

“Bedroom,” Derek said when he ran out collecting it and returning to find Kaiden smiling up at Derek balanced on his lap. Stiles took a few photos before dropping to his knees next to them.

“He's never going to stop now is he?”

“Nope,” Stiles said happily. “Oh my god one day he's going to leave us and go to college!”

“Stiles, he can barely lift his head and you're worrying about college?”

“It's going to happen!”

“Yeah, probably, it's his decision, but in eighteen years.” 

Stiles hummed liking that time period when he kissed Kaiden's cheek gently. “Do you reckon parenthood has made me soppy?”

“Only a little bit.”

“Crap,” he muttered stealing him back when he kissed his cheek again. “I just love him a lot. I do...you're never going to stop smiling at me are you? You're so clever!”

“It's just the start,” Derek murmured watching them with soft eyes when he looked up at him and nodded. 

Derek was right about that when Kaiden came about in leaps and bounds and his personality bloomed. The only problem was the late night sleeping which Kaiden refused to be apart of and wanted to cry and play instead. 

“He's three months old, he's getting a routine,” Derek murmured from the bed when Stiles paced the room rocking him back to sleep.

“If you don't want me to turn your werewolf ass into a rug, I would advise to shut the hell up,” he hissed at him. Kaiden cried wriggling in his arms till he sighed dropping on the bed. “I had like three hours last night and I couldn't nap because Isaac needed some help on that stupid essay. I can't cope with this every night.”

“Stiles, all the books...”

“Fuck the books!”

“Stiles,” Derek said in a warning tone. 

“The books are guidelines, every baby is different, Kaiden is different, he's a pup as you call him, and he won't sleep,” he argued standing up and walking out when he headed to the nursery. The lamp was turned on flooding the room with soft light. The window was thrown open when he let the cool air into the sticky hot room and Kaiden was in nothing but his diaper.

“Shall we read a fairy tale?” he whispered curling up in the chair and Kaiden sucked on his pacifier when he stared up at him. “Shall we read Cinderella? It's a tale of servants and pumpkins turning into carriages.”

“Once upon a time there lived an unhappy young girl. Her mother was dead and her father had married a widow with two daughters. Her stepmother didn't like her one little bit. All her kind thoughts and loving touches were for her own daughters...” Stiles murmured feeling exhausted but happy to read to him when Kaiden breathed staring at the book with wide eyes. “How can you not be tired? You hardly napped today. Okay, okay, I'll read the rest of the story.” 

Stiles read to him slowly occasionally glancing at him to see his eyes fall shut as time went by till he was fast asleep forty minutes later. He sighed in relief stroking his cheek gently when he settled back closing his eyes. It felt like five minutes later when he opened his eyes to see Derek in front of him holding out a coffee mug.

“Oh, thanks, where's...” he murmured noticing the lack of Kaiden.

“Scott and Isaac took him downstairs for his breakfast and play time.”

“Right,” he mumbled rubbing his forehead. “I'm sorry about last night.”

“Stiles, it's fine, you're tired. I know you are.” 

“You're right, he'll get a routine sooner or later, but reading Cinders at three in the morning was not good,” Stiles mumbled standing up and arching his back. “Did you think I'm doing a good job?”

“What? Of course you are.”

“You sure?”

“Stiles, yes, stop panicking,” he said leaning into kiss him softly. 

Stiles wanted to believe him when he kissed him back and followed him downstairs. He poked his head around the corner to see Scott, Isaac, Jackson and Lydia with Kaiden as they watched cartoons. 

“Now that is something I never thought I'd see,” he hissed in shocked awe feeling Derek's arms wound around him.

“I know,” he whispered into his ear so he wriggled back getting comfortable. 

For Stiles it was one of the best little moments and he allowed himself to relax knowing he was being taken care of. Parenthood didn't come with a manual and the 101 on how to do it perfectly but Stiles believed they were doing it to the best of ability. There was some doubts but who didn't have doubts? 

Kaiden was growing up and Stiles was there to see it daily whilst everyone went about their lives. The problem with that meant being cooped up in his house and unable to leave with Kaiden who would raise too much suspicion around the town. There was already a fake coverup just in case with the two of them using a secret surrogate to have their son and didn't tell anyone else. It was easier that way and easily explained to people who didn't and couldn't understand his true birth. Despite that, Stiles was remaining in the house and felt like a prisoner. It was his frustration he took out on Derek leading to arguments, leading to slammed doors, raised voices, angry words spat at each other, to Derek sleeping on the couch. It was horrible and the whole pack including Kaiden seemed to sense the rift in them and he made it known daily with tantrums.

“We keep arguing,” Stiles murmured when he sat in the park with Scott, a seven month old Kaiden wrapped up in his little coat and blue hat sucking his pacifier contently. The fresh air was something he loved and he adored the park when he was allowed to see it. 

“I know, we have Kaiden when you have your roaring matches.”

“You listen?”

“No, we try our best but we're werewolves...it's a little difficult not to.”

“It's exhausting,” Stiles mumbled with a huge sigh. “I hate it, I hate him, well....I don't, I actually love him but at the same time I want to rip his stupid annoying head off.”

“That's a relationship, Stiles,” Scott replied with a small smile. “It's not all fairy tales and you know that. They're hard work and if it was perfect then...something is wrong.”

“Oh so we should be arguing and shouting at each other every day about stupid things like who's turn it was to do the groceries or the laundry or to bath Kaiden?” he demanded facing Scott who grimaced. “It's just...too much like hard work. I know we're both tired, hell I know, he's hard work and I swear he's teething. But...Derek and I are meant to be in this together and we're arguing everyday, our sex life is horrendous, and I hate it.”

“How long...?”

“One month, Scott.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” he murmured licking his lips. “You going to tell me now that people have dry spells?”

“Actually...” Scott murmured shutting up when Stiles glared at him. “You two are for life, Stiles, you know, mates, forever, love that isn't about to fade away.”

“Well a lifetime is too long in my opinion. I don't want a dry spell of sex. We have, no, had a fantastic sex life. We were good, really fucking good in the beginning with Kaiden and now? Now he treats me like I told him I burnt his favorite leather jacket and laughed peeing on the remains.”

“He does not!”

“He does, I should know, and he – he's still on the couch.” 

“Stiles,” Scott cried interrupting his staring of the trees slowly losing their color when they faded into orange and yellow before dying. “It's just a bad patch, okay? You're both so strong and this is nothing! You have to stick this out for Kaiden because right now, right now he's the most important person in this whole thing. He needs his parents on good terms, kissing, sleeping in the same bed, and speaking without snapping at each other.”

Stiles swallowed the lump in his throat when he looked over to him and nodded knowing he was right and he really hated the moments when Scott was right. They weren't the perfect couple and he loved him, really loved him, and he prayed Scott was right about it being temporary. His thoughts were distracted when Kaiden made himself known by spitting out his pacifier and crying. 

“Hello baby boy,” he whispered when he got him out. His dark hair sticking up and fluffy when his hat fell off and he smiled a gummy smile. “Now see this is why I love you so much because you can smile at me and make everything so much better.” 

“I think it's the park.”

“Shut up!” he hissed kicking at Scott who chuckled dodging out of the way when he rest Kaiden against his shoulder. “It's me, he adores me.”

“Well he does but I am more than sure it's the park,” he said pointing out Kaiden looking around the park with a sort of awe. 

Stiles ignored him when he kissed Kaiden's temple gently. He wasn't looking forward to going home but he hoped they could sort it all out when he did. They spent another half an hour at the park before putting him back in and setting off back home. Derek's car was there when they eventually got back from the long walk, his feet were killing him, and Kaiden was fussy when he got him out. 

Lydia was there to swoop in and take him when she clapped her hands once at him. 

“He is not your doll!”

“He's the closest thing, I bought two outfits for him.”

“Derek?” he mouthed at her and nodded when she pointed up hinting he was in the bedroom. Stiles climbed the stairs when he entered the bedroom to see him standing at the window, his arms crossed, and he could practically taste the bad energy. 

“Where have you been?”

“Park, I needed to get out of the house for an hour or two,” he explained when he tugged his beanie hat off chucking it on the bed. “Derek...”

“Why didn't you tell me? I was worried.”

“Because I don't need to tell you where I am every minute of the day. I was at the park with our son who enjoyed it by the way,” he said hating the way Derek's jaw tensed. “Can we not do this right now, Derek?” 

“I'm not asking you to tell me where you are every minute of the day, Stiles, but I would like to know beforehand where my mate and my pup is so if anything happened...I would know,” Derek argued ignoring his wishes so Stiles inhaled deeply pressing his lips together. “It's not too hard to ask.”

“Well I'm sorry, okay? But we're fine, we always are, and I'm not doing this. I'm not,” he said holding up his hand when he opened his mouth. “I am sick of arguing with you, Derek! It's constant!”

“You're the one who starts them.”

“What?! No I don't! You started this one demanding to know where I am like I had done something wrong. I am more than sure if something happened and you didn't know where we were...you'd fucking find us. You're a werewolf, a mutated hound dog.”

“Dog jokes again?”

“God! No!” Stiles shouted slamming his hand against the wall. “You started this argument and I started last nights and I'll probably start tomorrows and maybe you will the day after. Because it's all we do these days...argue...constantly. It's consuming, you're consuming!”

“I'm sorry for giving a shit about you and our son, Stiles, and I'm sorry for not picking up a fucking grapefruit last night!”

“It was the one thing I asked for, the one fucking thing, Derek!” 

“Not everything is about you, Stiles, I had things to do, people to see, it was a grapefruit.”

“Not everything is about me?! Are you kidding me right now? I never said it was about me, you ass. It was one thing, just like the laundry which I asked for help with because everyone else was busy. You said you couldn't because you were tired well guess what so am I!”

“You're bringing up old arguments? I did it, Stiles, I did it and you're still nagging me? God it's like you like arguing about the same things over and over again,” Derek said with a scoff when he shook his head at him and Stiles fought the tears back. 

“You're such an asshole.”

“I'm the asshole?”

“Yes!” Stiles yelled at him. 

“What's that phrase, Stiles? It takes two to tango? Well if I'm an asshole, so are you, you really think I want to come home to this everyday?! It's the same crap, Stiles, the same stuff...”

“Oh my god, I'm done! I am so fucking done!” he shouted hard enough for Derek to pull back and shut his mouth. Stiles sniffed deeply when he lifted a shaky hand wiping the tears away. “I can't do this anymore, Derek.”

“What?”

“I'm...” he whispered shaking his head when he headed to the wardrobe grabbing the suitcase off the top. 

“Stiles, what are you doing?” Derek whispered in the background when he slammed the empty case on the bed. He ignored him when he opened the drawers grabbing his things out of them to shove in there. 

“It's the same crap, you're right, the same arguments, the same fighting, the same atmosphere. Kaiden is constantly crying because he can feel it, the pack are miserable, hell...we're miserable. I need to get out of here and I'm taking Kaiden with me,” he explained in a choked voice. “I can't do this, Scott told me to hang on and I was so prepared to come in here and sort this out. But the moment I walked in you wanted an argument. You wanted a fight and I am so fucking done with it all, Derek fucking Hale.”

“You can't leave, Stiles, I'm sorry, we can sort this out,” Derek said almost desperately when he gripped his wrist and he tugged it back shaking his head.

“No we can't, we need a time out, Derek,” he whispered walking out when he headed downstairs going to get Kaiden. It was quiet in the living room when he saw the whole pack there who had obviously heard every word. Lydia held out Kaiden when he took him into his arms kissing his cheek when he whimpered. 

“Stiles, you can't...” Scott murmured standing up.

“I can, I know what you said, but...” he replied staring into his eyes, the brown of them filled with concern and fear that even shook him. “I'm human, I have emotions, feelings, and I need to get us out of here before I do something stupid.”

His eyes roamed over the others looking a little shell shocked. The only ones he found to be supportive of his rash decision was Lydia and Erica who nodded at him. 

“Can you get his things together for me?” he pleaded to Lydia who nodded hurrying away when she went upstairs.

“Where are you going to go?” Isaac questioned looking pale and a little bit shaken when he stood up. 

“My dads, it's only for a bit, hopefully, but we need this time out. We need it.” 

Stiles left them to discuss when he got Kaiden into the car seat and handed him his blue dog. He seemed to sense something was wrong when he fussed kicking his legs and waving his arms. “I know baby, I know, but me and papa just need a little break away from each other. It won't be long.” 

Lydia his ever faithful appeared with Jackson carrying Kaiden's clothes and bottles and his suitcase that they helped get in the back. His eyes moved to the porch when he saw Derek stood there watching him with an almost mournful expression. 

“I think you're doing the right thing.”

“You think,” he mumbled softly to Lydia who nodded cupping his cheek.

“Yes,” she admitted. “I've been waiting for this, Stiles, ever since the third argument. We're human, not werewolves, I don't want to see you fall apart because while you're strong...you're also weak and I don't want you to break.”

“I love you, strictly platonic of course,” he whispered with a small smile so she smirked. 

“I know,” she murmured walking away so he grinned a little shaking his head. Jackson was quiet when he glanced at him, an oddly remorseful look in his eyes when he turned on his heel trailing after Lydia. 

Stiles got into the car when Derek approached the window and he pressed the button to get it down to speak to him. 

“Don't go,” Derek pleaded gripping the window with both hands. “Please don't go. I'm sorry.”

“I'll call you,” he murmured in response when he swallowed the lump in his throat. “Let go of the window or I'll chop your fingers off.”

Derek's eyes were stormy with emotion when he stepped back and Stiles started the car up refusing to look at him. Kaiden was quiet in the back when he drove away and kept his eyes on the lane to get him out of there. His dad's car was in the driveway when he arrived and he bit his lip hard resisting the urge to cry all over again. He turned his head when the front door opened and his dad stepped out like he was coming.

“Come on son,” he said when he got out of the car. “I'll get the bags, you get Kaiden.” 

Stiles held back the tears when he got Kaiden out of the back and indoors. His dad got his stuff in and closed and locked the front door behind them. 

“Stiles?”

“I – I just need a minute dad,” he whispered when he headed upstairs to his old bedroom. The moment he got in was the moment he broke down crying and sat on the bed. He was desperate to keep it quiet when he sniffed deeply, his hands brushing away the tears, and his breath shaky when he breathed in and out.

“Stiles?” his dad said knocking on the door.

“Dad, Kaiden...”

“In front of the television, transfixed actually,” he explained sitting on the bed next to him. “Nothing is going to happen.”

“We were arguing, I snapped, I mad a rash decision, and now I'm here,” he said with a swallow. “I just – I couldn't deal with it anymore. Arguing with him, it's not easy, it's actually the worst thing ever because it feels like it used to be. In the beginning. Arguing, dirty looks, snapping at each other, but then it all changed and everything came out and I had to go and fall in love with him. I had to fall in love with Derek Hale, the most broken man, the man unable to love, trust, and the king of bad decisions.” 

“Stiles,” his dad said comfortingly.

“I fixed that though! I came in and I fixed that and god it took time...it was actually really fucking hard. I mean everything happened and then we were together and god I fell dad, I fell really hard for him. But I fixed him, not all of him, I'm not a genius, but enough to get him up every day without guilt ripping him apart. Then – then the miscarriage happened and it all fell apart. I thought I was going to lose him and I know we're his mates, it's actually a really big deal that whole thing but I honestly thought I would lose him.” 

“But you didn't.”

“No, luckily, and then we got Kaiden and everything was good, really good, and now it's just...” he muttered trailing off when he closed his eyes tight. 

“Stiles, look at me,” he insisted so he turned his head to meet his eyes. “Every couple fights, Stiles, you're not the first and you will never be the last. That's what one of the package deals with a relationship. Me and your mom used to bicker and fight, big ones, little ones, and meaningless ones. It happens and sometimes they lasted days but we always made up because we loved one another.”

“Do you want me to start crying again?” he mumbled with a wet snort. 

“No, but we did, and we moved on each and every time like you will because you love each other, right?”

“Yes.”

“You have a baby together, you have a life, and this is one of those little challenges in life we have to overcome.” 

“When did you become so wise?” Stiles whispered raising his eyes to meet his. 

“I've always been wise.” 

Stiles snorted a second time but believed him when he leaned into him for a moment before standing up. “I know, I know we will, but we need a time out. You sure you're okay with us staying here?”

“Of course I am, this is your second home.”

Stiles gave him a small smile before heading downstairs to be with Kaiden who was in his car seat when he babbled watching the television. His hands waving when he clutched at his blue dog when Stiles got him out. 

“My big boy,” he murmured kissing his cheeks. “Promise me you'll never let me down and be the best little baby in the world for the next two years?” 

Kaiden stared at him when he chewed on his fist and Stiles took that for a 'yes' when he hugged him close. Stiles curled up in the corner of his couch ignoring his vibrating phone when the three of them settled in front of the television. 

“Your phone is vibrating, it has been for an hour.”

“Be Derek and the pack, probably Scott mostly, I'm ignoring them.” 

“You think that's the best idea?”

“It's the best idea if you don't want to see me crying and angry again.” 

It was only when Kaiden was down for his nap next to him that he finally grabbed his phone to see forty five messages. He skimmed through them picking out the most important ones to read. 

**Erica**

_I totally support decision. BTW Derek destroyed kitchen in anger._

**Jackson**

_Fix this, Stilinski._

**Scott**

_Derek went a little insane the moment you were gone. He's took off, no idea where he is. He might be going to you. Come home soon?_

**Boyd**

_This needs to be sorted out and soon._

**Allison**

_If you need me, I'm here for you both. Both being you and Kaiden._

**Isaac**

_This house is already miserable without you._

**Lydia**

_You need anything, call me, no one else. Me._

**Derek**

_I love you._

It was the last message that caught him when he swallowed and dumped his phone on the floor next to him. His dad stood watching when he held two mugs in his hand before handing a steaming one over to him. 

“Nearly all of them begging me to fix this and apparently Derek destroyed the kitchen in anger before running off. It doesn't surprise me.”

“You're both adults now, parents to that little one who doesn't need this drama. He needs his daddies being civil and loving.”

“Spare the lecture, please? I know, I know he doesn't need this, but it's happened and there's nothing I can do about it just yet. I want one night away from him, just one night.” 

His dad relented finally and to his relief when he settled back and watched the television. His phone vibrated occasionally and there was no sign of Derek when the hours ticked by and he had his dinner there, he fed Kaiden, before going upstairs to put him down in the bed they would be sharing. 

“I'm sorry baby. I really am, I never meant for this, and I know you can sense something is up,” he murmured rocking him gently so his hand grasped at his finger. “I know you're probably pissed off with me at the moment and expressing it in a series of babbles because you're really clever and our baby so why not? I promise we will sort it out though. I promise. 

It was hard work getting him to go to sleep when he fought it till he had to give in and he snuggled into his chest falling to sleep. Stiles allowed himself to cry for a few silent moments when he kissed his forehead before lying him down. He ended up getting in the other side of the bed when he looked at his phone to see his messages mostly from Scott, Lydia, and Erica but none from Derek. It was hard work being in a fight and he sighed deeply pushing his head into the pillow wanting to escape. He tossed and turned carefully aware of Kaiden next to him asleep and it was near enough half eleven in the evening when he heard it. It was distinctive for him when he heard the mournful howl deep in the woods. 

“Derek,” he whispered climbing out of the bed when he went to the window to pull it open and look out. There was no around when he scanned the front yard before scanning the street. There was a bond between them that caused real pain in his chest when he wanted to call back to him and was unable to. It was useless and he was cold when he pulled back to shut the window and return to bed. Kaiden slept on undisturbed from his sleep when he looked at him and away feeling regretful. 

Sleep was uneventful when he drifted in and out of it, waking up when Kaiden did for his nightly feed before holding him to his chest when they settled in for a lie in. It was his dad who knocked on the door the next morning when Kaiden was awake and babbling in his lap. 

“You want breakfast?”

“No, not hungry.”

“How did you sleep?”

“Like crap, you know when you sleep next to someone for years...it's a little hard to sleep without them. Back at home, Derek was on the couch for three days and I barely slept,” he said with a heavy sigh raising Kaiden in the air so he kicked his little legs smiling down at him. 

“You going to talk to him today?”

“Yeah.”

“You want me to watch Kaiden?”

“That would be great dad,” he admitted with a small smile. 

It didn't take Derek that long to finally come to the house when he arrived at half ten knocking on the front door. Stiles opened it staring at him for a long minute taking in the damp dirty clothing and lack of sleep evident under his eyes.

“You look like shit,” he cried brightly.

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah, upstairs, and no you're not seeing Kaiden yet. You can suffer a little.” 

Derek agreed with a nod of his head when he headed upstairs and Stiles followed him till they were in the spare bedroom. 

“I spent the night in the woods.”

“Why?”

“I couldn't be in that house without you or Kaiden.” 

“Right,” he murmured sitting on the bed. “Derek, look, I'm not just blaming you, okay? We're both at fault here and we both argued and fought and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of arguing with you about laundry and grapefruits and who the last person was to bath Kaiden. I love you but oh my god you're hard work!”

“I could say the same about you.”

“I think I love you as much as I hate you right now. You're such an annoying asshole,” he mumbled rubbing his forehead. 

“I know I love you.”

“You know,” he mumbled staring down at his feet letting out a soft snort. “I get butterflies every time I hear that. I never hear it enough.”

“I'll say it more.”

“I want us to stop fighting, Derek, we need to stop fighting,” he pleaded when Derek sat down next to him smelling of damp earth and rain. “I hate it, I hate it so much, and I want us to be a family like we were. You, me, and Kaiden. Because even though we're a pack, us three, we're a family.” 

“Come back home,” Derek pleaded cupping his jaw so his eyes shut. “No more time out, just come home. We can sort this out.”

“Did I give you a nasty wake up call?” he whispered gripping his wrist to stare into his eyes. 

“The worst kind.”

“Good.” 

Stiles let his eyes close when he drank in his warmth and his smell when Derek's hands cupped his jaw and neck gently. It was easier to sit and imagine they won't going through this at the moment. 

“Reminds me of when we lost the first baby,” he whispered capturing his eyes. “When we argued everyday but out of grief, we couldn't cope with it, and each day I wondered. I wondered if this was the day we broke up, the day when we couldn't handle it anymore. I kept thinking to myself, this is it, you had everything and now you have nothing. But we kept on going, each day at a time.”

“You're my mate, it would have never of happened.”

“Derek, we lived and fought with each other whilst you lived with that secret knowledge of yours...I think if needs be we could have made it without each other.”

“That's not true, I needed you, I just didn't show it.”

“Emotions would make you look human,” he mock whispered so Derek rolled his eyes. “But it's true, I needed you then, I need you now more then ever, and it sucks. I feel so dependent.” 

“We can sort this out. You know we can.”

Stiles inhaled deeply pressing his fingers to his chest feeling him breathe in and out before nodding in agreement. Derek seemed to instantly respond to that when he drew him into a kiss and Stiles fisted his top kissing him back. 

“Fuck, we haven't had sex in a month, Derek, do you know how horny I am?” he hissed when he shoved him down into the bed covering his mouth.

“You want to do this now?”

“If you love me, you'll shut up, this is makeup sex with an added mixture of how I need this with you,” he murmured kissing him hard and groaning deeply when he immediately responded. It was hurried hands when they shredded clothing and they tried desperately hard to be quiet. 

“Lube?” Derek murmured against his lips. 

“Drawer, secret stash.”

Derek snatched the blue bottle out of the drawer when he was flipped onto his back and he bit his lip hard when his fingers pressed inside of him. The burn was satisfactory when he spread his legs wider rocking his hips needing him deeper. It was quick and hurried when he fingered him open till he was ready and desperate for him. He felt like a whore the way he accepted him, his groan pressed into his cheek when Derek pushed inside of him. 

“Fuck me, I want to feel it for hours,” he whispered wrapping his arms around his neck when Derek obliged thrusting into him. The bed creaked a little under their weight when he encouraged him to go harder with demands and moans of approval. His nails dragged down his skin so he left his marks and his teeth made their imprint in his bottom lip. 

It was exactly what he needed though when his hands shoved at Derek who rolled onto his back in surprise. His hands gripped the headboard tight when he rode him, his hips rocking when he forced him deeper and it hit the sweet spot inside of him.

“Oh god yes!” he moaned through his teeth when Derek wrapped a hand around his own cock and jerked him off. His climax cut him off when he came and hard. It rocketed through him enough for him to feel it everywhere when he stared down at his wet chest. Derek's hands gripped his waist when he rode him till Derek climaxed. 

“Oh fuck,” Stiles whispered against his damp forehead when he pulled off him dropping down on the bed. “Oh I think we needed that. Two minutes of pleasure.”

Derek hummed in agreement when they kissed sweetly. “Are you coming home?”

“No more arguing and if we do...it's got to be a good reason.”

“Yes.”

“I'm coming home,” Stiles cried with a dramatic sigh.

“Good.”

“I love you.”

“I love you more,” Derek whispered so he snorted.

“Impossible, Derek Hale, very much impossible.” 

~*~

If Stiles was put on the spot and told to name the scariest thing he could think of he could honestly say it was watching his baby grow into a little person. This little person who laughed loudly clapping his hands when he was done with breakfast or dinner, his cheeky smile when he had done something naughty. His first word being 'dada' to his delight and surprise, the next being 'papa' for Derek who beamed in pride. It was his boisterous behavior, his smiles, and his angelic baby charm that won over strangers. 

It was recalling the first time he crawled when he was eight months old and Jackson waved his blue dog at him encouragingly. They waited with baited breath and watched in awe when he shuffled across the room to get it. There was a collective cheer and a startled cry out Kaiden which left them wondering whether or not he would be scarred by that. It didn't and he was the master of crawling which meant getting gates and plastic covering for wire and plugs. It was all about safety.

It was holding his hands when they walked around the house for hours so he could walk on his two feet with the others. It was watching Kaiden try to speak words and when he held books opening them up to see the words and pictures. It was terrifying and wonderful all at the same time and he couldn't get enough of it all.

It was the realization that after everything they had been through it was a simple pleasure to wake up in the morning, walk into the nursery, and see Kaiden standing at the bars of his cot smiling at him. His eyes trusting and his heart filled with love just for him when he took him into his arms and kissed him good morning. Their wonderfully strong child was growing up and whilst being fully dependent had lost some of it in the process of becoming older. 

Kaiden had not only completed them but strengthened them in ways he couldn't quite believe himself sometimes. To watch Derek with Kaiden everyday was something he could sit and watch forever. The way he can sit and play with him for hours, his eyes taking in everything Kaiden does with enthusiasm. When he's working out and Kaiden leans against his legs or sits on his stomach or on his back when he is doing his thing. The airplane game being his favorite and most dreaded when Derek tossed him in the air and caught him to zoom him in the air. Kaiden's giggles filling the house so everyone could hear and know exactly what game it was.

It was the little things like that, that he loved and scared him the most. Stiles took them as he could though, one day at a time. He took his time to appreciate everything he did from calling Jackson, 'Jack' when he was least expecting it. Jackson was over the moon and laughed in Scott's face when money was slapped into his hand. Kaiden had yet to say Scott and it was amusing all the same. To saying 'nandad' as a shortened version of grandad for his dad who went misty eyed and had to leave the room to Stiles' delight. His first birthday in April when the whole pack including his dad, Melissa, and even Deaton celebrated it and Stiles cried into Derek's neck that night about his growing baby. 

His little baby that stared at him with big brown eyes and smelt of blood was growing up though and the moment he walked for the first time left him stunned. It had been a normal day like any when he sat in the living room with Kaiden using the couch as support to stand. His eyes were on his laptop with Kaiden out of the corner of his eye and he could see Kaiden staring at his blue dog across the room as he babbled to himself. 

“You want him?” he murmured catching his attention. “Come on then little man, shall we see if those little legs can support you yet?”

Stiles made his way across the room when he knelt and grabbed the dog shaking it at him. “Come on, Kaiden, you want Blue?”

“Blue!” he cried clapping his hands so Stiles grinned nodding. 

“No crawling, come on, you can use those legs. You love walking!” he said holding out his hands for him. 

It took a lot of effort of getting him to stop crawling across the floor before he finally took a step and another when he gaped at him. 

“Come on, come on my big boy,” he whispered to Kaiden who wobbled stepping towards him till he finally reached falling on his butt. “You did it! Oh my god, Derek is going to kill me...he wanted to witness it. Reckon we can keep it a secret and you magically do it later for papa?” 

Stiles grimaced whilst Kaiden laughed when he picked him up kissing him till his cheeks were wet. “Papa!”

“Yes, papa, you're going to walk for papa later and it's going to be magical and your very first time. We'll call this your practice run, congratulations, you passed. You want a cookie?” he whispered nuzzling his cheek when they headed into the kitchen. 

“Say tar,” he said holding it out for him. It was the only way to get him to say 'thank you'

“Tar!” Kaiden cried taking it off him and pushing it into his mouth. 

It was a kept secret but Stiles thought of himself magical when he encouraged Kaiden to walk the moment Derek got in from work. It was more suited when he shared in the joy of their baby boy walking and he could hold the secret till his eighteenth birthday that he walked for him first. 

Kaiden's walking was just the beginning of everything when he grew more and more till he was chasing a naked two year old Kaiden around the house when he escaped him after a bath. Kissing his cut hands when he fell over before they healed and he forgot about them. Watching the pack play and interact with him outside when they played with a ball or simple yard games. Seeing Derek read to Kaiden in bed when he curled into his chest, his tired eyes struggling to stay open just to hear his papa reading to him.

The arrival of his first day at preschool dawned though. It was overwhelming and Stiles wasn't sure he was ready. 

“Stiles,” Derek murmured in the morning. “You didn't sleep a wink did you?”

“Our baby is going to school.”

“It's not school, it's preschool, a time for bonding with other two year old's.”

“He's nearly three soon.”

“You know why he's going, he needs to interact with other kids,” Derek whispered kissing his bare shoulder. “He's going to be okay.”

“But he's a baby werewolf! What if he...shifts?!” he demanded. 

“You know he only flashes his eyes when he's hungry. We'll warn them to make sure he has his food...otherwise they're dinner.”

“You are so not funny,” he hissed at Derek when he shoved out of bed and ran a hand through his hair. “I don't think I can do this, Derek, he's been constantly by my side for years now and he's my baby.”

Derek sighed deeply when he shoved the comforter away and moved to comfort him. “I know, Stiles, but he needs this. You want to get back to work and he needs time to be with other people that aren't his pack.”

“We can home school him.”

“No we can't.”

“Fuck,” he mumbled pushing his face into his neck. “I need to cuddle him.”

Derek let him go with a sigh when he walked out walking into his bedroom to see him already wake when he sat up in his little bed. 

“Dada,” he whispered lifting his arms when Stiles scooped him up peppering his hair with kisses. “Preschool, dada.”

“Yes, that's what's happening today,” he mumbled sitting on the bed. “Are you going to be a good boy?”

“Yeah,” he whispered giggling when he tickled him. 

“I know because you're my big boy aren't you?” he whispered into his ear. “Can I have a big hug from my big boy?”

Stiles wanted to cry when his arms wrapped around him tight and he looked over to where Derek was leaning against the door watching them. He pulled back kissing his forehead when he held him taking him downstairs for breakfast and to get dressed for the day ahead. His stomach was in knots when he drank coffee watching evidently when Derek helped feed Kaiden his breakfast before dressing him.

“Nervous?” Erica whispered into his ear. 

“Understatement. How many years do you reckon I'll get if I burnt the preschool down?”

“Five years, you could be out for his eighth birthday.” 

“Stiles,” Derek said cutting him when he turned sheepishly to see the disapproving look. 

“I will kick your ass, Derek Hale, this is my baby!”

“Our baby, who is ready for his first day at preschool and he doesn't need to hear about his dada wanting to burn it down. You know he copies everything,” he said placing a hand on his head when he was dressed in a blue top and little jeans plus converse. 

“Oh you're adorable!” Erica cooed holding out her hands so he ran into them. 

“I'm going to get dressed,” he grumbled heading upstairs. 

He dressed quickly throwing on a pair of jeans and a top so he headed down in time to see Kaiden in his coat excitedly waiting. 

“Do you have Blue?”

“He has everything, we're going, come on,” he said holding Kaiden with his free arm when he opened the front door. Stiles walked out breathing in the crisp air and wanting to escape but kept it inside when the three of them got into the car. 

“Maybe we can do this next year? I can wait a year for work!”

“Stiles, we've discussed this over and over again. We both decided.” 

“I know,” he mumbled biting his thumb nail. 

The selected preschool was the best one they had chosen for Kaiden after careful deliberation and Stiles couldn't help but glare up at it. 

“I'm coming in,” he said when Derek got out of the car to get out of Kaiden. He was excited but somewhat shy when he held onto their hands walking through the door. 

“Mr and Mr Hale?” a female voice said when appeared all bright smiles and bright blonde hair.

“Yeah, if you want, this is Kaiden Hale, his first day,” he said stroking the top of Kaiden's head.

“Ah! Oh isn't he a stunner,” she cooed looking down at him. “Hello, Kaiden, I'm Miss Smith, shall we go hang your coat up?”

“Dada,” Kaiden piped up staring up at him like he wanted permission when he dropped to his knees. 

“You going to go with this nice lady here and you're going to read books and have fun with other little children,” he said kissing his nose so he giggled. “You going to be a big boy?”

“Yeah!” 

“That's my big boy,” he whispered hugging him tightly before letting go. “I love you.”

Stiles stood letting Derek have his turn when he scooped him up so he giggled and nodded when Derek whispered in his ear. Kaiden was set on his feet when he took a step forward taking Miss Smith's hand. Derek's arm wrapped around his shoulders when he resisted the urge to follow and met his eyes. 

“This is going to be worse when he goes to real school isn't it?”

“Yes.”

“And when he goes to high school and then goes to college and will no longer be my baby boy?”

“Most likely.” 

“Oh my god,” he whispered closing his eyes. “You need to give me another baby.”

The words escaped his lips before he could register what he said. Derek's arm was clamped around his shoulder when he turned to meet his stunned eyes. 

“Are you serious?”

“I don't know, I don't think so, but then again...” he murmured trailing off and swallowing hard when they walked out of there back to the car. “I worried so much with Kaiden, terrified I was going to lose him, and I didn't. I mean our baby is in there right now about to turn into a genius. But another baby? What if we lost them?”

“You can't always think like that.”

“Can you blame me?”

“No, but like Kaiden we didn't lose him, we got him, and if we had another...it would be fifty-fifty over anything,” Derek said softly invading his personal space. “But like our first...they were gone too soon. But Kaiden...our little miracle. Our third...who knows.” 

Stiles pushed down the urge to cry when he nodded before shrugging. “Well we can always practice...”

“Lots of practice...”

“Oh yeah,” Stiles whispered with a grin looping his arms around his neck when he was hoisted up onto the car bonnet and kissed softly. It was his stomach that was in knots at the prospect and he was terrified but in the best way possible. 

Over three years ago his life was a mess, a life gone too soon and unknown to him so to this day he still mourned. Three years later his relationship was stronger than ever and he had a little boy growing every single day to be bright and beautiful in every way. That was an accomplishment and despite the fact the thought of bringing in an another brand new life was scary – he was so ready for it.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt - Stiles is carrying Derek's cub but it's a very difficult pregnancy with many alarming moments.
> 
> (There may have been a previous miscarriage so) Derek and the pack are super supportive and overprotective and Stiles is terrified and insecure but completely determined to carry this baby to term, no fucking matter what and no one better try to harm his pack in the meantime because his hormones make him an even bigger bamf than ever.
> 
> \---------------------
> 
> I'm on tumblr - babyangelcastiel - come say hello!


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